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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I've been knocking myself down, but not anymore!

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up."

Yesterday at practice, I was swimming and my breaststroke technique was not the way I wanted it to be. Lately I have been struggling a little bit in the pool and sometimes I feel so weak and helpless. I am a pretty optimistic person, I'd say I usually fight with windmills like Don Kihot does, so I always find the strength to get up when I fall down, but for the past two or three months I have been trying really hard to get back up and when I am just about to get on my feet I knock myself down again! Yesterday while I was struggling with my breaststroke, a thought I hate passed through my mind- the thought of giving up. Lately that thought is conquering my mind almost every day, and I just hate it. So yesterday when I thought about giving up , I got really mad at myself and told myself that I did not overcome all these hardships, I did not put all that hard work to get to the point I am now to just give up in front of some stupid obstacle. I told myself that I am a strong person and I never give in to hardships and I am not doing it this time either.I also thought that the pain I am feeling now ain't nothing compared to the pain I used to feel before and that is why I will make it through! And you know what- IT HELPED! By the end of the practice I was so mad at myself that I put that ferocity in my swimming and I swam pretty good! So I think I am strong again and I won't let the weakness conquer me again!

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