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Monday, January 18, 2010

Gabby you are amazing!

So, I decided to share with you one story, and let me tell you that is not a horror movie it is a real life story. It is a story about my twin sister. Her name is Gabriela Subashka. Since we were kids she has always been a little overweighed. She just loved food, and what could be worse when you love food and have a grandmother that thinks eating what she cooked equals how much you loved her. So when you are little you wanna show your grandmother how much you love her, and Gabby never skipped a chance to do it. So as we grew up my dad was always having fights with grandma about stuffing Gabby with all these cakes and sweets and etc. , but she did never take it too personal and kept doing it. Dad was constantly telling Gabby that she should not eat so much, because it is not healthy and she could have serious health problems. Dad knew exactly what he was talking about because he lost my mom(she died from anorexia when we were little). Well maybe now you understand why grandma was stuffing us with food-she thought that she does not want the same that happened to mom to happen with me and Gabby. But she did not realize that exactly what she was doing was gonna push Gabby in the world of bulimia and anorexia. So the years went by and Gabby was putting on weight. When we were fourteen she fell in love with one guy. And you know that at that age boys appreciate you mainly by your appearance and I think that was the first time she met the weight problem issue. Then when we were sixteen, Gabby and I went to play basketball in the United States. We were separated and we lived in different states. Her host dad had business with ice cream and her host aunt worked in a place they sell donuts, so both of them made sure they had tons of ice cream and donuts at home, and the whole family took advantage of the treats, including Gabby. So after a year in the states Gabby came back home 20kg more than she was before she went to the States. That is when my parents decided to take everything in their hands. They made Gabby a diet. It was a really healthy one and she lost about 25kilograms and everything seemed so good.
On the team my sister was playing there were two twin sisters. They used to be pretty overweight too and after that they lost tons of weight in a really short period of time. They became models and they were playing basketball in the same time. My sister used to be one of their best friends, and that is what got her to the bottom. They were both struggling with anorexia and they slowly but surely convinced my sister to follow them. And don’t get me wrong on that one, I am not telling that it is not her fault she was too weak to be patient and loose the weight slower but healthier, but these two girls really influenced her bad. At first she started doing the same thing like them- she ate just a couple apples a day and that was all. My parents started noticing it and told her billions of times to stop it….so she really did stop it but suddenly tons of food started disappearing at home, and everybody thought that I ate them(‘cause I practice a lot and I eat a lot) so that did not bother anybody till the day my mom caught my sister in the bathroom throwing up and her eyes were full of tears. Then my mom decided to tell dad about my sister throwing up and he had a really long talk with Gabby. He told her what would happen if she keeps on doing it and that if she has decided to kill herself there are way easier and less painful ways to do it. He even took my mom’s diaries( her diaries she wrote before she died) and let Gabby read them. And it looked like she understood and like she was gonna get better. But, I think I forgot to tell you she was a good liar and she was hiding herself pretty good. So as you are guessing she kept on throwing up, after a while she changed the “tactic” and she stopped eating. She went from bulimia to anorexia.
Usually during the day my parents work and I am either practicing or I have classes and there isn’t anybody home . And Gabby took advantage of this- she was not eating at all and when you ask her if she ate she always said yes and she explained how much she have eaten. Another thing she was doing was she was eating but really small pieces and when you ask her what she ate she would recite a long long list of things she ate so that it looked like she ate the world….
Finally my parents understood that the tactic to be nice and understanding to her was not the right one. They told her they were giving her one more chance and they were sending her in a clinic for people suffering from anorexia. That did not look to bother her either…she kept doing it. Finally my dad grounded her and forbid her to get out of the house, he took her car, he did not let her talk on the phone with anybody, he stopped her internet, everything, he even stopped talking to her( I think that was the thing that bothered her the most). So the days went by and Gabby kept doing these stupid things and kept lying. I remember one day at lunch I was going to eat with her and I went to the kitchen just for a second to grab myself a fork, and she was supposed to eat a slice of bread( my mom used to prepare all her food for the day that she was supposed to eat, and dad said that there MUST BE ALWAYS SOMEBODY on the table with Gabby, so that we could make sure she ate everything)… so she was supposed to eat that bread, but on the table there was a plate with scrambled bread for the birds, and Gabby used the fact I was in the kitchen to put her bread in the plate for the birds, and the worst thing was that a couple hours ago she lied again she ate her breakfast and while I was in the kitchen I was asking her why she did it…and imagine how I was talking to her about the mess she did in the morning, and I was thinking she was listening to me…then I go to the table and I see her putting her bread for the birds…
Well besides everything we did nothing seemed to help, my dad even thought to stop working and stay all day long at home with her and follow her everywhere so she could not do stupid stuff.
She used to take laxatives and there is these chocolates that have laxatives in them. And she used to eat them so she would throw away all the food she ate. And my parents did not let her eat them, so she would hide them. She used to hide them in one jewelry bag and one time I opened the door and I saw her eating the chocolate and I went to tell my parents. And when I came back she was just coming from the balcony in case you are not guessing what happened-she threw the chocolate through the balcony so she could tell she did not eat anything. And she went to my dad and said I was lying. And it was late at night. I took a torch and went outside and found the chocolate and gave it to my dad. He did not know what he could do…he tried everything so he told her that he is searching for a clinic and he is sending her there. And since that night he stopped talking to her, I also did because it was really mean how she always said I was lying that she was throwing up or eating the chocolates or throwing the food in the trash. Tell you the truth I hated it that I have to tell everything to my parents I felt terrible but I knew she was sick and I wanted to help her. I think that when dad and I stopped talking to her that was the turning point.
I was supposed to stay with her all the time and follow her everywhere, so after my practice ended I was supposed to go immediately at home, I could not go out with friends or something like that. What she was doing was ruining not only her life but the life of the whole family. And one day I could not take anymore and we were just me and her at home I took the dog for a walk and I was crying and came back home but I was so sad I could not stop crying and I saw her jumping in the hallway ( because she used to practice to exhaustion so she could burn every single calorie, she even did not use buses she used to walk all through the town so she would burn calories all the time, and my parents forbid her to practice but she used when there was nobody home and she started practicing). And when I came back home and saw her doing this I couldn’t help it but crying and I looked at her and told her “ Are you kidding me?” And she looked perplexed and asked me why I was crying. I told her “Are you really wondering why?”. She told me if it was that big of a problem that she was practicing she will stop and she stopped. I went in the room and told her that it might sound selfish but it is right about time for her to start thinking what she was doing not only to herself but to everybody around her. I told her that she was making my parent’s life unbearable, she was literally destroying my father, I told her that these are supposed to be my best years and I could not live them because I had to stay home and babysit her all the time, and don’t get me wrong I told her I do not mind doing it but if I saw that she was trying to get better and she was not doing anything to get better and that was what was driving me nuts. And then I took my bag and went to practice. And after that day I think she realized what she was doing and she was improving a lot. She started eating more, stopped puking and taking laxatives. And since then she is getting better every day. She is still having some mental problems, I mean she is thinking if she is fat or not, if she looks good, sometimes when she eats more she feels guilty, but everything is way better than it was.
I wanna say that I am proud of Gabby for getting back on the road, because you know everybody slips from the road sometimes but what is important is to find the strength to get back on it and keep on living. These mistakes are what build our character and our personality. It is said that most of the time we should get to the bottom in order to find the way to the top but as long as we never stop chasing the top everything will be all right!
I want to tell Gabby that I love her sooooooooooooooooo much and that I will always be beside her no matter what she did, what she does or what she is going to do, and that she is an amazing person and has an enormous potential to do great things in life and it is not worth ruining this potential. So Gabby you are the best sister I could ask for! Keep on fighting with life and don’t let anything put you down. You are stronger than you believe! And you look just brilliant!!

1 comment:

Милена said...

Hugs :)
To both of you :)