“You can’t have a perfect day without doing something for someone who’ll never be able to repay you.”
I was just walking on the sidewalk... people passing by! All of them were there physically... but mentally they were far away-still in the office solving a problem,still thinking through the conversation they had with a loved one,drawned in their problems... I was there too... thinking...
It is strange how we always chase something, run after something or somebody, hoping that if we have the luck to catch them our life will miraculously change and we will live happily ever after... we run and chase those things and people, desperately trying to catch them, stumbling over,digging deeper, neglecting people that actually love us and care about us....we do all that to come to a point when we realize that no matter how far we go, how far we run away, life always leads us one way!-to the once that care about us and the once that truelly love us!
People's mind is strange...why have the secure when you could chase the wild...
Actually I kind of took a turn, and changed the theme...so let me get back on track...
I guess that I just wanted to say how people don't need much...the people that care don't need you to give them the world, bring them stars or take them to the moon...people that care just need your time and attention...it is the simplest and smallest things you do that count, and it is still the simplest and smallest things you don't do that make the difference between whether you make somebody happy or you make them suffer...
Next time when you feel bored and wonder how you can make your day worthwhile...just take the time to call somebody that cares,somebody that loves you...take the time to smile at somebody...it might make their day...take the time to make a nice gesture to somebody that cares...somebody that will appreciate it!...and who knows...it might mean the world to them...and it won't cost you much!
I was thinking about the things that happened to me so far, the pain or the happiness they brang;the tears and the smiles they left...I often remember the stabbing pain I've felt, but at the same time I try not to forget the joy that filled my heart.
I try to let go of the past, I try to close my eyes in front of the things that are taking place in my life now-the once that are hurting me...but deep down I can feel the pain and the sadness...they are in a constant fight with my mind...my mind tells me I shoouldn't be sad or worried...but my heart feels different.
You know how they say that you can choose either to express your emotions or hide them, but you can not controll the emotions themselves-you still have them and feel them no matter if you show them on the outside!...Real tears are not those that fall from the eyes and cover the face but are those that fall from the heart and cover the soul...
At times I wonder which one is better, to let yourself have feelings and be sad at times but happy throughout the other time; or have a heart of stone, and never feel neither sadness nor happiness...
Lately that question is taking over my mind...and the more I think about it the more perplexed I get... I may not show my emotions way too much, but I assure you that I have them and I feel them...I am that kind of person that does not need much to be happy-I enjoy little things...but I also get hurt easy. I rarely show it but way too many things hurt me, people act or say stuff that stuck in my mind and torture me. I have the bad habit of suffering the pain other people feel. I always put myself in their shoes and kind of feel their pain...so it is pretty much a burden!
I thought a thousand times that I should change and that it would be easier for me if I feel less...but that thought is hurting me twice as much! I think that if I become cold hearted I might hurt a lot of people throughout my life, and just the thought that they will feel the pain I feel now makes me suffer more...just the thought that one day I will look back and realize how bad of a person I have become just because I was scared to feel...just that is stabbing my heart...
SO for now...the question to have emotions or not is still unanswered....
"I didn't fail! I just found 100 ways that don't work. – Benjamin Franklin"
“People who fail to achieve their goals usually get stopped by frustration. They allow frustration to keep them from taking the necessary actions that would support them in achieving their desire. You get through this roadblock by plowing through frustration, taking each setback as feedback you can learn from, and pushing ahead. I doubt you’ll find many successful people who have not experienced this. All successful people learn that success is buried on the other side of frustration.” ~Anthony Robins.
We can hate how we’re sad and tired most of the time, or we can love how happy and energetic we are at times. We can hate how things end when people stop caring, or we can love how things begin with new people who enter our lives. We can hate how we fail at least one or two classes, or we can love how we’re still passing the rest. We can hate how we have trouble sleeping at night, or we can love how we can make it up the day after by taking a long nap. We can hate how we can cry so much and feel like the whole world is weighing down on us with all the sadness, or we can love how we can pour everything out instead of holding it all in and being able to recover after. We can hate how we always think about the past with people that meant a lot to us, or we can love how we have those moments to treasure and remember. We can hate how ugly we think we are and feel insecure and jealous, or we can love how we have beauty that other people see and feel confident about ourselves. We can hate how we argue and disagree with some people, or we can love how we agree to forgive each other after. We can hate how the food we get isn’t what we want so we complain, or we can love that we have something to eat and remember that there are those who are starving and have nothing. We can hate how we get really sick, or we can love how we’re not even close to dying. We can hate how people make mistakes and have flaws that put us down, or we can love and accept them with the way they are and focus on how they lift us up. We can hate how there is so much negativity surrounding us in our lives, or we can love how there is still positivity that will always be there.
We should focus on what’s more important and try to change our mentality a little by simply ignoring the negative side of life and give more attention to the joy of life!. That is just the way life goes and we should just keep moving forward and go with the flow, because that’s the only way we could end up being happy and content with our life.
"There is no person in the world who is made to handle every punch that’s thrown at them. We aren’t made that way. In fact, we’re made to get mad, upset, sad, be hurt, stumble and fall. We aren’t supposed to be able to handle everything. But that’s what makes us stronger in the end, by learning from the things that hurt us most. "
Sometimes there should be darkness in order to see the dawn...
Everybody had a moment in their life when the voice inside your head starts pounding against your eardrums, telling you you’re too tired, too sick, or too weak to go on. Or a moment when you convince yourself you’re too fat to wear that dress, too old to play that sport, or too green to do that job. It’s a sensation so overwhelming that you find yourself practically submerged in it, like a liquid skepticism, viscous and disgusting. You rationalize, “Hey, it’s alright… it’s just the way things are. Those dresses are for skinny minnies, those sports are for the young bucks, and that job… well, I’ll bide my time and get there eventually.” But deep down you’re hating yourself, resenting your size, your age, your inexperience, or whatever relative weaknesses you have. You wish you were more fearless, more driven, and more secure, but life has taught you well your incapacities and it’s not your place to argue.
The truth is we’d much rather assume defeat than face our weaknesses head on—far better to avoid the mirror than risk a humiliating sidelong glimpse.
A lot of people go through their life constantly hiding from their weakness instead of facing it and getting done with it. Nowadays we live in a world where everybody is build up out of their insecurities and fears. Most people live through their fears instead of living through their dreams.
Everybody is used to finding an excuse for everything instead of for a way for everything. In order to truly grow we must be willing to live on the margins and step outside our comfort zone, in many cases risking failure. We need to tap into stores of courage and determination that most days lie collecting dust. If we don’t, they lose their potency and condemn us to chronic intimidation.
We begin to identify more with what we can’t do than with what we can. This is because, in the absence of real confrontation, our doubts become our reality. It doesn’t matter how irrational or ill-conceived the reasoning, the man obsessed with his age looks older by the day; the woman refusing to try on the dress grows less and less likely to ever wear it. If we keep inundating ourselves with notions of inability, we will always struggle to improve.
The only way to overcome doubt is to welcome it, face it, and test it. We have to invite our weaker sides onstage and see how fragile they truly are. And more often than not it turnes out that our weakness becomes our strength...just face it!
As I've said before, I love reading! I pretty much read everything I can, espescially if it has something to do with sport and nutrition. One of my favorite things to read is Matt Stone's blog 180 degree health. That guy is just genius. I do not think there is a book about health and nutrition that he hasn't read. What I love about his blog is that he does not idolize just one theory he just views all theories that there is out there in the world of nutrition.
So I was reading that post about anorexia, that I found pretty interesting and decided to share it with you:
Most assume that anorexia is purely psychological, stemming from body image issues and a desire to appear like supermodels or something like that. While this mentality can certainly instigate undereating and lead to the powerful physical and psychological addiction that best describes anorexia, once the disease has set in, to say that it is purely psychological is a huge error.
I liken anorexia to addiction. From what I suspect, most cases of anorexia begin with a desire to lose weight. When someone loses weight as we have been discussing at length over the past month, this is accompanied by a large rise in catecholamines – the adrenal hormones that break down both fat and muscle tissue to be used as fuel. This breaking down of body tissues is referred to as “catabolism.” Catabolism… catecholamines. Coincidence?
Along with the rise in catecholamines comes a rise in neurotransmitters dopamine and beta-endorphin. These are energizing. Pain goes away. A state of subtle euphoria sets in, and we get a little “high” from it. We are talking about opiate substances here, and they are very addictive – as addictive if not more addictive than actual opiate drugs. Dopamine… dope. Coincidence?
Anything that causes a big rise in catecholamines typically triggers a rise in beta endorphin and dopamine. That’s why you hear so much “buzz” from those who practice intermittent fasting for example, on how good they feel, how much energy they have, how clear and focused their thinking is, etc. They are getting a natural high, just like vigorous exercisers get. Very low carbohydrate eating often has the same impact, and while an anorexic can self-medicate by keeping carbs low enough to trigger dopamine and beta endorphin release, it is counterproductive to recovery for reasons explained below.
The problem is when a person with susceptible physiology meets activities and substances that spike these neurotransmitters to great highs. This is what makes the difference between a person that gets addicted and one that does not. What is susceptible physiology? Susceptible physiology is someone who naturally produces LOW amounts of these neurotransmitters for whatever reason – typically poor nutritional history on behalf of themselves and their parents I suspect, as nutrition needs to be excellent in order to have sound production of these neurochemicals (naturally weak adrenals may in part be responsible as well – and there’s no doubt that adrenal stressors heighten a person’s susceptibility to addiction).
When levels are naturally low, substances or activities that spike these neurotransmitters are particularly alluring. That’s because a person that naturally has low levels of these neurotransmitters correspondingly has a lot of receptor sites wide open to capture this small amount of dopamine and beta endorphin. Anything that causes a surge of these chemicals causes quite a thrill ride.
At the same time, spiking these neurotransmitters results in what is called “downregulation” in which some of those wide open receptor sites close down. This is precisely what makes anything that spikes feel good brain chemicals habit forming and addictive. With a low production of dopamine and lots of wide open receptor sites, life feels good, balanced, stable, and normal. But with a low dopamine production and closed receptor sites life feels slow, sluggish, depressing, painful, and so on – the opposite of a dopamine high.
Once dopamine has been spiked enough, and enough receptor sites shut down – even if dopamine production is still the exact same as it was to begin with, the person feels nothing but withdrawals and has the experience of insufficient dopamine, beta endorphin, or whatever. They need increasingly larger spikes of these neurotransmitters just to feel normal, much less good, just like any true long-term drug addict or alcoholic.
This is exactly the pathology of anorexia. A susceptible person starves him or herself. When that happens, beta endorphin and dopamine levels rise – making the person feel VERY good at first. If a person manages to fight their hunger signals hard enough, and long enough with a large motivating factor such as body image issues to override natural physical feedback…
Then receptor sites start to shut down. Undereating, at this point, then becomes self-perpetuating and the normal hunger feedback loop is broken. Resuming eating once again induces instant withdrawals for which abstaining from eating is the medicine. Undereating, from a functional standpoint, becomes a drug to get a dopamine and beta endorphin feel-good fix. Without it, a person feels miserable physically, and depressed, lethargic, and dark psychologically. At this point, anorexia is not something that can be cured with a Club sandwich any more than a heroin addiction can be cured with a Club sandwich.
Before I go indefinitely on this addiction/anorexia tangent, let me get into specifics in terms of the questions that were asked in the email I received above…
Recovering from anorexia is like recovering from serious drug addiction and should not be underestimated. Any person suffering from anorexia, if he or she has any hopes of recovery, must first be able to grasp what addiction is, how it operates, and what MUST be done to recover.
From this vantage point, the psychological pre-requisite for recovery can hopefully be mustered. That psychological pre-requisite is one of understanding how the body and mind work, and grasping fully why eating makes you feel shitty and depressed with an uncontrollable urge to stop eating.
I imagine a typical anorexic seeking recovery is at odds with themselves, frustrated as to why they can’t just eat when they know they need to, and confused at all the terrible physical and emotional trauma they experience when eating. To get to the other side, it really takes full recognition of the problem, how to fix it, and a whole lotta self compassion. Otherwise you’ll just beat yourself up for not eating instead of realizing exactly why you don’t want to, taking it easy on yourself because of it, and taking the proper steps knowing fully that it is going to be a major hellish battle that every cell in your body will try to resist.
To recover, I believe that there is no way around achieving “upregulation” in which the receptor sites for beta endorphin and dopamine open back up again – allowing you to feel normal with your naturally low production of those neurotransmitters instead of experiencing too little and having an unquenchable thirst for anything and everything that spikes it.
A very low carbohydrate diet, in the short-term, could very well make for a substitute for anorexia, as could very strenuous exercise, as could various psyche meds and stimulants. However, that is ultimately trading one form of addiction for another, and is not genuine recovery. However, it can make for a great stepping stone.
But ultimately upregulation must occur. For this to happen, it is essential to focus on doing everything possible to keep beta endorphin and dopamine levels as low as possible. This, ladies and gents, is brutal for someone with downregulated receptor sites for these chemicals. The withdrawals can be major.
I truely reccomend that blog. You can find a lot of useful things out there and it will make you think about things you have never considered that could be the way they are...
I get to meet a lot of people every day. All of them are different but most of them have one thing in common-their outlook on life. And guess what! Mine ain't the same! :)
I am tired of hearing how I am supposed to enjoy my college years and get drunk every night(guess that is supposed to be fun...too bad I do not drink;) and just have fun NOW because later on life is gonna suck pretty bad. But come on! Are they serious? How is everybody supposed to be so pesimistic? Why everybody is so tired of living? Why is everybody spending their life waiting for its end?
I see life in a different light. Yea it might be hard sometimes, but after all that is what makes it interesting and worth it. That is what makes you fall and grow. That is what makes you weak and stronger.
I think most people hate life so much just because they do not live it the way they want. They live it the easier way-just do something and wait to die...they seem to adopt the pesimistic outlook on life since early age and live with these beliefs throughout their whole life....and that is where the problem comes from...You must plant flowers in the garden of your mind or you will be forever pulling weeds!
So I am not gonna talk about the way others see life I am gonna talk about the way I see it. First of all- I totally love life and enjoy it. And NO my life ain't free of sorrow, failour,betrayal and etc. But if I haven't gone through all of it, I wouldn't have been the person I am today. I think that when you overcome the bad things that life gives you, you get much stronger and you start having a positive outlook on life, because you are less likely to freak out for little stuff others freak out for. You are more likely to understand that
after every dark night there is a day
.
So what do I expect out of my life? I expect living it to the foolest from the beginning to the end. I expect studying and working hard NOW in order to have the job I dream for later. I see tons of people just working something because they are supposed to. And that is why most people are so sad and depressed. After all you spend most of your life at your workplace. If you do ot enjoy it how do expect life to be fun? So that is my number one goal-to have the job I dream about! No matter what is the cost of it...I promise you that is what I am gonna do to the end of my life! :)
Next... I guess someday I am gonna have a husband and kids...I am not that kind of girl that wakes up with the thought of getting merried and wearing a big white dress... but I guess that is just part of life. So I do not think too much about it, but there is one thing I know for sure! I do not ever want to use my family and my kids for an excuse for my failure or my sad life! I see a lot of women that blame everything on their children-the way they look, the lack of time, the lack of goals and prosperity...well I think that is totally wrong!
I think that you should first be happy with yourself and the things you do, and after that you could possibly make people around you happy. And don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong to devote to your kids and family but that does not mean loosing your identity, your dreams,goals,life... The key to life is balance...
And I know it is so hard to find balance...I am costantly struggling with that :) But it is for sure worth trying! :)
Next...I hope I will learn as much as I can out of every mistake I make, I will get stronger after every hit I take, I will never let others plant seeds of self doubt in myself and the things and people I love and I believe in. I hope I will enjoy every opportunity I have to try something new and something different. I hope I will encounter things that are gonna challenge me,my beliefs and my abilities...things that will make me grow,make me smarter and build on my outlook on life.And most of all I hope I am never gonna break down to the obstacles I face in life, I hope that after years I am not gonna be one of those pesimistic people, tired of living, I hope I am always gonna see the light when darkness falls!....and remember that the way you see life will largely determine what you get out of it!
I found that video, and I think it is really touching and inspiring so go ahead and watch it...
Sport is where an entire life can be compressed into a few hours, where the emotions of a lifetime can be felt on an acre or two of ground, where a person can suffer and die and rise again. Sport is a theater where sinner can turn saint and a common man become an uncommon hero, where the past and the future can fuse with the present. Sport is singularly able to give us peak experiences where we feel completely one with the world and transcend all conflicts as we finally become our own potential.
One thing about me that you can not misunderstand about me is that I LOVE sports. Actually I love playing sports. Most of the time I get judged a lot about my sports addiction. Even my family does not approve my passion. A lot of people find it a waste of time and energy.
I am constantly asked why I "torture" myself like that instead of staying home or going out and having fun. They constantly tell me I should reorganize my priorities and send working out somewhere at the last places... They say there are more important things in life than being fit. They say there are better ways to spend your time instead of running,swimming,lifting weights,sweating and so on...
Well, I am actually sick of what they are saying. What is importnat is what I am saying! They do not wanna hear me...That's fine... But to me...sports are not a waste of time, not lack of socializing, not a torture or a way to exhaust myself. I see it that way:
During the day we meet tons of people- all of them share some problems, we try to help them with an advice or just give them a shoulder to lean on.We are forced to do a bunch of stuff for somebody;we are constantly taught what we are supposed to do and how we are supposed to do it. Sometimes we get lost in the pace and the chaos of the day, and it comes out we hardly find time to keep up with our daily tasks and not to mention the time for ourselves. Well I've found the solution to the problem-WORKING OUT! For me my practice is the time just for me! The time when while running,jumping,lifting weights or you name it, I outrun my problems,it is I and my thoughts...It is me who is the boss-I controll everything . The time when everything is the way I want it to be! The time when everything depends on me-I choose whether to give up or keep going when I feel tired, whether I will give in to weakness or show some character and finish my workout and then get the feeling of self accomplishment and self improvement!
Working out has always helped me overcome the obstacles which life throws on my way! I treat every hardship just as a tough workout. A workout which requires a little bit more concentration and motivation. A workout which requires from me to give my all, suffer some pain, and get done with it! A workout that when you finish and walk out of that gym you feel like you've become stronger and ready to face even harder things!
I've felt it a thousand times-the feeling that makes you wanna quit;the mind that is telling you to skip a couple reps...but if I have given in to it, I would have cheated on nobody but myself.
It is not just about the sport itself. It is so much more.Sport gives me the opportunity to compete and strive to be the best I can be. Workouts never fail to challenge my skills or test my resolve. It's in the gym where I can lead with confidence and guide with heart. It's the place where I have always felt I could make a difference.And the thing that I have realized but you who judge me haven't is that it makes a difference not only there-in the gym...it makes a differense in everything in my life!..
...sport strips away personality, letting the white bone of character shine through. Sport gives players an opportunity to know and test themselves!
Every now and then everybody has some doubts about himself/herself and the things he/she does. It can be a pretty difficult moment. What could make it worse is if the people that surround you instead of encouraging you, make you doubt yourself twice as much!
It is sad when people we care for, do not approve the things we like, the life we lead and the dreams we have. That puts more pressure on wheather we are going on the right path or we should take a turn and change the direction.
I've been thinking... they are not happy with what I am doing and what I am aiming for...but the thing is am I happy?!. If so... why would I put myself down for what other people think? Why would I doubt my dreams,my priorities, what makes me happy? Should I take their words and make a turn...and fit in their standards for living?
I am only 21years old...but I have realized one thing, and it is that no matter what, you are the only person that is gonna be with you, your whole life! Everybody else will come and go...there are just few people that are gonna stick with you and be there for you no matter how bad you screw it up, or how great you become! But YOU are the person that should be happy with yourself. You are the person that determines wheather your life is worthy or wasteful! You should follow your own heart not people's opinion.
History has seen so many that neglected their heart and their aspirations and followed the crowd... and you know what? None of them was happy. All of them struggled their whole life trying to fit in a place that was not the one for them.
I truely believe that no matter what one's dreams are there is a friend for everybody, a leaning shoulder for everybody and a place for everybody! A place where the people that surround you will never let you doubt yourself. A place where others will be the same as you. A place where you won't need to explain why you are you and why you like the things you do. A place where you will be accepted for the person you are!
Till you find that place I encourage you to keep believing in yourself, to keep doing what you are doing. I encourage you not to judje yourself through someone else's eyes and to never make other people's opinion your reality!
