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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Give me reason but don't give me choice 'cause I will make the same mistake again..

"Your greatest strength often becomes your greatest weakness"
I really like this quote and if you think a little bit about it, you will find it is so TRUE! Sometimes when you are really motivated to achieve something, when we feel that burning desire to succeed, we never stop for a while and look around us and analyze everything that is happening to us. We are just so much into the idea of reaching our goal, that we don't care about anything else.
That quote could be something like a summary of my life. I am a pretty ambitious person, I'd say I am an overachiever. I always aim high, and I am so concentrated on the things I want to achieve that I become blind to everything around me.
If you give yourself a time to think, you will realize that for example before a real bad injury got you down, you had some other signs this was going to happen-maybe some pain or other kind of discomfort. But you were always too busy chasing your dreams to stop and give yourself a rest,right?
I've done this mistake over and over again, and I keep doing it, and tell you the truth as scary as this may sound I am sure I will keep doing it in the future! I have dislocated my shoulders 6times, but I only "count" four of them, because the other two injuries seem nothing to me compared to the four bad dislocations I had. Every time before I got an injury there were always some signs that something was not right and I had to give myself a rest, so I could come back even better than before, but was I paying attention to them? NO! I was always busy dreaming about being the first woman in Bulgaria that is gonna dunk, about playing in WNBA, about being an all-star and so on... it was such an obsession. Even when I got seriously injured and the doctors said for example I can't play for six months, I gave myself four and started again( don't get me wrong, I actually never stopped, when I injured my right shoulder I used to go to the gym with the shoulder brace and practice my dribble with my left hand, practice my shooting with my left hand...so I never stopped, even when I was not supposed to even think to step in the gym). During that time I already realized how I was pushing my luck way too much and that what I was doing was not right but it was just some inner drive, it was an obsession and I felt pretty helpless in front of it...and I still do. Sometimes I am so exhausted I know that if I have a rest I will feel better and that my practices will go better than now but I just can't stop... it feels like somebody has pushed the autopilot button and has plugged out the button that can stop that autopilot.... So don't be like me...find the strength to beat that inner drive that is destroying you or you may not go as far as you could... and for me.... I'd say "give me reason but don't give me choice, 'cause I will MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN!".


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