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Sunday, December 26, 2010

The Element-How finding your passion changes everything

One thing about me that not too many people are aware of is that I totally love reading books! I love reading biographies. My passion about biographies comes back from the days when I used to play basketball. I remember being somewhere around fourteen dreaming of playing in WNBA and becoming the best basketball player on Earth. I used to spend a lot of time daydreaming about it and I found inspiration reading about other athlete's success stories.

Later on when a bad injury put the end of my teenage dreams of being an all star basketball player I needed a different kind of inspiration. Back then there weren't a lot of people that had the faith in me. Not a lot of people trusted me that I could ever play another sport and all of them were trying to convince me how I should get rid of that passion about sports and just live a normal life-study, then find the regular job, sit on a desk for 8 hours, then go home sit some more and repeat all of this till I retire.

But that wasn't even close to what I was dreaming of! I decided that eventhough most of the people that surrounded me did not approve what I was striving for I was determined to fight for what I wanted. So I found inspiration in biography books. I read tons of biographies of athletes that overcame great obstacles and injuries. Athletes that deep in their hearts knew what they wanted and never lost sight of their goal even if they lost track of the path they were walking!

So as my life progresses I find it hard to keep living if I do not read a book like this every now and then. Today I finished reading "The Element" by Ken Robinson. It is not exactly a biograpy book, not even close. What captured me about the book is the second caption- " How finding your passion changes everything". That is simply the sentence that describes part of my philosophy about life.

The main point of the book is that the Element is the place where passion and skill meet. People find the Element when they engage in the thing that they love that they are also especially good at doing. This leads to more than just a sense of personal satisfaction. Being in the Element insulates people against unpredictable changes and leads to a more flexible and productive society.

The book illustrates the stories of celebrities, entrepreneurs, scientists,athletes and other highly accomplished people who have found The Element. It illustrates some of the struggles they faced and the never ending commitment to strive for what they truely believed they were born to do. The book shows how you have to find your passion, and then follow it in order to find your purpose. 

I totally liked the book because it is not that kind of recepie books, that teach you five steps that will turn your life from disaster to triumph. It is just a book that has true stroies about truely great people some of them famous, some of them not. They are all so different but they have one thing in common- they are truely happy because they found their passion and followed it.

I reccomend everybody reading it! It is pretty inspirational and makes you want to follow your own passion no matter what the obstacles.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Live like a candle which burns itself but gives light to others

      I've been sitting here all day reading... I had a little surgery yesterday and lost a little more blood than    planned so today I am forced to sit like an old old lady tired from life doing absolutely nothing! So as usual I am contemplating on life and the way we are supposed to live it...

Three days ago my grandma also had a surgery and I left her in the hospital. On the other day I was supposed to pick her up and drive her home...but in the evening I received the bad news that i was also going to have a surgery...and actually a couple surgeries... so I wasn't in the best mood... I'd say I am mentally strong but I always need that time just for myself to suffer the pain alone so I can overcome it and then move on...
I could not get any sleep the whole night. I felt so tired and confused I did not even wanna go and pick up my grandma from the hospital in the morning...I was thinking up some ways to ask somebody else to do it instead of me...

And then I felt so selfish... was I gonna get better if I stayed home, feeling hopeless and sad? Sure I wouldn't! But if I had not gone to pick up my granny she would probably be sad... so I decided I was going to neglect my selfpitty and try to make somebody else happy.

I went early in the morning, bought a rose for her on the way to the hospital. I left the flower in the car and went inside to take my grandma's stuff. She seemed kind of sad. I was sad myself but I tried to smile so she could feel better. We went to the car and I opened the door for her...and there was a big red rose waiting for her...my granny's face was shining...she was so happy. She laughed the whole way home and obviously forgot about the pain she was feeling...

...and guess what? That made my day too! So now there were two sad souls that were now shining...and what was the cost of it? Just a red rose... :)

My point is that people do not need a lot to be happy...it is the little things that make our life meaningfull and whole...

And when you are about to make the decision to feel sorry for yourself or make somebody's else day better....just go ahead and light up their life...you will be brightened by their light too... :)))

Saturday, November 20, 2010

If only...

If only I was taller!If only I was more flexible! If only I had more time! If only I had more money! If only I was stronger! If only I was thiner! If only it wasn't so cold outside! If only I wasn't so tired! If only I was smarter! If only I have started earlier! If only I could be faster! If...If...If...till when?

These days "If only" seems to be the most used expression...everybody is making excuses...everybody wishes for something to have been different....everybody blames situations to be the reason for failure...everybody is hitting their heads in the wall hoping to come up with an appropriate excuse why it AIN'T going to happen...

Since when did life become such a burden?!. Why are most of us always wishing for something to have gone in a different way?Why do we spend our lives wishing for something,feeling sorry for ourselves,blaming people and situation for where we are standing now or more likely for where we are NOT standing now...

Wouldn't life be much easier if we changed the "if only" with"How could I"....How could I have more time?How couldI compensate for being slow,for being short? How could I earn more money...and actually make a change!

Seems like we are forgetting we are THE human-the most intelligent creature in the world... aren't we supposed to use our heads and turn failure in motivation,success in inspiration, obstacles in possibilities...?

If only people had the drive...the courage...the desire...the commitment...devotion...will...faith...if only...

Friday, November 12, 2010

You will never know half of the things I will never forget..

I was reading something that got me thinking about people, the obstacles they overcome and the accomplishments they reach... walking on the sidewalk, in the mall, in the supermarket, in the office or you name it...you meet hundreds of people...you pass by them and see what they are now, but you could never guess what they used to be...and let's take it a little more personal...I am gonna talk about myself...

You see me everyday and probably you judje me for the things I do or the things I don't... you are looking at me thinking I am not good at that but I have a God givven talent for something else...but you know what? You do not know anything about me!... Do you know about those days that I will never forget? Do you know about those days I could hardly find strength to get out of bed and face another day? Do you know about those days I could hardly wait for bedtime so I could fall asleep and escape reality? Do you know about those times I was supposed to achieve something great but I tripped right before the finish? Do you know about the dreams that shattered in front of my eyes? Do you know about the stabbing pain I felt? Do you know about the hopeless days? The aimless life?The forced smiles....and hidden tears?!.

...the point I want to make is that we see people and we rush to judje them but we never know what they got through....you see somebody doing something and you mock him or her for not being the greatest...but can you see through his or her eyes? Do you know how far they walked to come to the place where they are standing now? Do you know how much strength and courage they needed to be where they are now?..You will probably never know half of the things they overcame to be the people they are today...but you know what? They deserve to be treated with dignity and appreaciation! They deserve to be valued for their achievements no matter how big they are!

You are nobody to judje people and belittle their ambitions!...truely great people treat others for what they could become but not for what they are!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A night brightened by stars...

It's just a simple evening...sitting in front of the PC, reading and drinking coffee...my thoughts are conquering my mind and won't let me rest...sometimes it is nice to be alone at home...but sometimes it is pretty hard...you go home and there is just you and the silence...and there is nothin wrong with that...I do not need to be among people all the time...I love spending time by myself...but not at night...

I sit here and the thoughts of everything that happens and all the people I meet and all the stories they share, it all rushes in...and, oh, that can be pretty torturing trust me!

The last couple months I am having some pretty hard times. Sometimes I feel like giving up. On one hand everything seems hopeless but on the other it is not that bad after all. I've come up with the conclusion that there are a lot of saddness all over the world and no matter what happens to you there is always somebody that is suffering so much more... so I am sitting here thinking...damn it I am feeling pretty discouraged right now...but should I? ...well if I take it a little deeper I should be really really happy, because I have some of the most amazing people in my life....I am so grateful that they are part of my life...they are like twinkle stars in my darkest nights...maybe they do not realize how much they mean to me and how thankful and blessed I feel to have them in my life...

I just wanted to say that eventhough I am feeling down tonight... I am glad that my night is brightened by the stars...

Monday, November 8, 2010

I wish...

Life is like a cycle... it always goes full round...if you start with saddness...you will go through happiness and then go back to the saddness... I know it...I've seen it...I've experienced it...

But why is it so hard to get thorugh hardships...when you know that they won't last forever and that soon it will be bright again? I hate that hopelessness that conquers me... I hate the pain that is stabbing me...

When saddness comes it makes me detest happiness... It is so hard to remember the moments that filled your heart with joy while now it is tearing apart from pain...

I know it will be over soon or later...I just wish I could find a reason to forget everything and start over again...

The price you pay

Everything in life has its own price...and usually there is no discounts and when you want something and you get it you should pay a hell of a price...

We've all seen these really rich people that at first sight seem to have everything that most people aim for-money,cars,big house and all those material things...but could you guess what is the price he payed?....WRONG! Hard work is not the price...if you could become invisible just for one night, go to that person house, sit against him on the table and feel the loneliness and emptiness he feels...yea, I know that just the thought of it is stabbing your heart....sad but true that is the price he payed for all these material things- cursed to be a lonely bird in crowded sky...

Let's move on to the next "purchase"....you see that married couple...they seem so in love, their relationship is just like those from Disney movies that every girl would dream to have... but like everything in life it couldn't be that perfect...there should be a trap...and the trap here is that they have all these spirirual stuff a person would want but they do not have any money to get them through the day...the price they payed to have the disney movie kind of love is to be cursed to be beggers...

Then you see that man on the street...he is around 40-45years old. If you knew him, you would have understood that he is the most hardworking person in the world; he always gives everything he's got to help people....NICE! that's what you are thinking right?...but do not rush it so much...let me tell you the price he payed...his body and his mind are so exhausted..he takes pills everyday that let him move, otherwise he can't get out of bed in the morning...he used to be a pretty athletic person that used to be always moving around doing something...and now the price he payed is that his vivid and bubbly spirit is in the prison of his own sick body...

And finally you see that girl...she is always with a big smile on her face...everybody seems to enjoy being around her...you'd say what a happy person should she be... maybe some great stuff are happening in her life...you'd be a little envious at her...but hold on...let me tell you the price...if you have known her maybe you would have found the saddness behind that smile...you'd have known that she smiles just because she knows what it is to be weak, and to need a helping hand, a warm smile to brighten your day...she knows that people do not always show on the outside what they feel on the inside....and that there maybe a person among all the people she meets that will need that brightness...

Well they say you could achieve everything you want, but you can not have everything you want...so just decide what you want and if you are ready to pay the price...

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Close to getting the meaning of life or not?

Living in a world where everything seems to be on high speed it seems like everybody is always running late for somewhere, trying to make up with daily tasks and just living the same old, boring rutine every single day. How sad!

I am really keen on philosophy...so as you can guess I always have some question on my mind and the most common one is "What the hell is the meaning of life?". And if you are eager waiting for me to give you the answer...let me tell you that I haven't figured it out!...I don't think that there is only one TRUE answer to this question...for me everybody has a different meaning for his life.

I guess that the meaning of life is to just live it up to the fullest, do the things your heart longs for, try as many things as you could possibly handle, trip over difficulties and then pick yourself up and rise above them. Like somebody said... on the road of life "leave no stone unturned".

I always require the maximum out of myself...and I am never pleased with the things I do. I always feel like I could have done a little more. It can be a good thing to require so much out of yourself but at times it is so exhausting-both physically and mentally. Sometimes I will just sit and have a little rest and I will feel like I am wasting my life...so one time while I got this feeling...I caught myself thinking..."Waisting your life? What in the world are you thinking?"... why do we people think that we should always do some great deeds-like saving humanity,inventing all these fancy technologies and etc... isn't life just about the journey and the happiness you feel through that journey? If you are feeling tired and you need some time for yourself, why not take it? why should you feel guilty for feeling good?

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The wind will blow it away...

Life puts you through different hardships...some not so bad....some hurt you way too deep...The painful hardships...they may put you down,force you to dig deep, and break your heart...but they are the once that lead you to the path you were menat to walk...they make you better, because they are the once that force you to give your best not to repeat them but to learn and make things better the next time...

Sometimes it seems like my life is a maze...the one that I never find the way out of it...I walk, I struggle, I force myself to keep going and not give up and keep searching for the exit...but at times just when I think I am close to getting out of the maze...I take the wrong turn again. I get lost,frustrated, disappointed and at times it feels hopeless...it makes me wanna give up...

...and at the next moment I see the light again and it makes me wanna give my best just one more time...give it just one more try, hoping this time I will get myself out of it...

The past year has been pretty hard for me. I constantly try to get rid of the past, I try not to pay attention to the evil side of life,I try to close my eyes to the envy hearts...the little hearts...the people that belittle your ambitions,your goals,your life...actually the ones that bring negativity everywhere they go...but it seems that the more I try to get rid of them, the more they are messing with my life...

When I think that I have everything straight,something goes wrong...
And today after I had one of the thoughest conversations in my life...I was driving my car...watching the sky...the sky was pretty clear but there were those black,dark clouds...they seemed like ugly black spots in the beautiful sky...but did they make it less beautiful?...NO!...they were just some intruders...they will stay there for a while...then the wind will blow them away...

Well it is the same with life...some people play the role of the black clouds...they try to conquer our lives...but we should be patient and wait for the "wind" to blow them away...and meanwhile we should keep enjoying life...

People say that "After every dark night there is a day"...and after every bad moment there is a joy...so next time life is being hard on me...I will try to remember that if I hold on for a while, if I am patient and not taking it too serious..."the wind will blow it away"...and I will be happy again...

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Follow your aspiration...and at the end of your life you will feel like the most accomplished man on Earth

Michael Jordan!... the best basketball player in the world?....Usain Bolt...the fastest man on Earth?...Michael Phelps...the dolphin disguised in person?...there are so many famous athletes and famous people considered to be the best in whatever they are doing...we all look up to them and compare with them on a daily basis...
There are people we work with, people we think are better than us...we compare our accomplishments to theirs and as sad as it may sound that often makes us quit on our dreams because we found ourselves not good enough, not capable enough, not smart enough...
Then there is the other case when we turn out to be the people others look up to...and that often makes us feel like we are more than others...

Looks like comparison and the desire to be considered the best out of everybody lies deep inside people's nature... but comparison inevitably brings judjement...We compare ourselves to others when we shouldn't be, because we don't know what they've been through or what they've done to get where they are.

You see all sorts of people in the gym, on the street,at the University, in the office and you make judgements, but you don't know their personal journeys or struggles. And guess what...you are going through your own personal journey and struggles, so that doesn't make you any less of a person, or more of a person than the one standing next to you.

I' ve met a lot of people... and the conclusion I can make is that behind every smile, behind every accomplishment there is a different story... sometimes you go out on the field and play with somebody. You think "Oh, what a looser, he runs so slow! Why is he wasting his time playing"...but then the game is over, you go in the locker room just to find out that "the looser" can actually be considered a hero...you find he suffered an accident that almost left him unable to walk...but he was strong enough to fight adversity and get back to what he loves eventhough he will never be the best! ... but you know what? He is already the best! The courage he had to keep going even when obstacles were "screaming" at him to stop...the courage he had to listen to the hope that "whispered" him to keep fighting...that is an accomplishment...

You know how they say that it is not important where you are standing but where you started from...sometimes life brings us all to our knees...sometimes it makes us dig so deep it looks like we are stuck and we are never gonna get on top again...but if you keep hanging on...if you have the courage to fight...then no matter where you will reach...you can consider yourself the best!

Have you heard about Marlon Shirley, Matt Scott, Annette Roozen and so on? Some of you will say yes and some will say no...they might not be the fastest runners, the best basketball players you have seen...but all of them are amputees who fought adversity just to get back on the court, on the track or wherever their heart led them... and to me they are the best just because they walked far to get where they are now...

And what I am trying to say is that sometimes in life you won't be able to be the best in what you are doing, but you should keep in mind that everybody has a different start and a different story...the important is to give your best and be the best you could possibly be for yourself...and others...don't worry about them, they will take care of themselves...just find what your heart strives for and no matter if you have the chance to be the best....just follow your aspirations, work hard,don't give up and I assure you that at the end of your life you will turn back and feel like the most accomplished man on Earth!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Why am I doing it...for self-satisfaction and a sense of achievement.

You have to wonder at times what you're doing out there. Over the years, I've given myself a thousand reasons to keep practicing, but it always comes back to where it started. It comes down to self-satisfaction and a sense of achievement.

The past three years my life is everything but secure. I passed through so many things, a lot went on in my life, my goals changed, I found new aims in life, then lost them again and others replaced them...I struglled through finding new motivation within me...I struggled through finding the drive within me that I used to have... what kept me going was the spark I once had...and occasionally I found something to light that spark and set the fire on...but did I start something that is gonna last a lifetime?

And when I am saying this I am particularly talking about sport and the self experience I have with it... After I stopped playing basketball, I was a lonely bird in crowded sky...I obviously did not look to fit anywhere... half an year after that I thought I found my "new sky" where I di dnot feel that lonely anymore...I started swimming. It wasn't the same as basketball but it kind of reminded me about the adrenaline and the feeling I used to have on the basketball court... so I sticked up with swimming for about 2years and a half...

All that time almost everybody asked me why I was practicing so hard when I obviously did not have the chance to do something great in swimming...it looked just like a waste of time to them... at times it used to hurt me when they kind of belittled my efforts...is it that important to have the chance to be the best in order to give the best? I think that people should try to reach their own limits and max potential no matter what that means- to be an olympic champion, to be able to run a whole mile without spitting your lungs out, to be able to take your groceries from the truck of the car to the kitchen table and etc.

So while I was swimming I found a new passion-called crossfit. And what I'd say about crossfit is -SIMPLY AMAZING! I think that is what I was missing the past couple years...it reminds me so much about basketball, it almost gives me the same pleasure. It is so diverse and dynamic. You can practice every single day and you won't need to repeat the same practice all over again. Iyt is like I am on the court. Every time you play a different game, you use a different move depending on the opponent you have, you could work on your shooting skills, dribbling drills, movements, running,jumping and so on.

So let me get back to where I was going... now they still ask me..."Why the hell are you practicing so hard?Can't you just stay still and live your life normally. Sport is just some stage of life, after that there comes a time when you leave it!"...how mediocre,don't you think so? What do they mean by "live life normally"? And who sets the standards of being normal? To me what I am doing looks completely normal, and what they are doing seems odd! But I gues sthat we are all different and we have different drives so I do not judje them for being salespeople,models, engineers and...

And that thing about "sport is a stage of life"....what in the world were you thinking when you said it? Yea after 40years I may not be able to grab the basketball rim, I won't be able to run a marathon, I won't be able to swim 3miles...but you know what? I will still be able to touch the basketball board, I will be able to run 5miles and swim a mile and a half... and I will still be involved in sports. Yes my results will be lower than what I can do now, but I will still try to reach my max potential for a 60year old lady!

So next time you ask me what is the reason to practice so hard when I am obviously not going to be an olympic champion...just keep in mind that I do it for pleasure. It just gives me pleasure and satisfaction to know I went out there, gave a hundred per cent and did my best. So instead of asking my why...just find the area in which you will feel the same drive that I feel and will give your best just because it makes you happy!

Thursday, September 23, 2010



Everybody has it, but few reach it!

There are those among us that believe that everybody longs to reach their own personal best-either it is going to be to get the best body, the best job, the highest score on the test, an olympic record or you name it..

We pretend our ultimate goal is to be the best version of ourselves, finding the right job, reading the right books,eating the right food... but the reality is far less compelling. If we are truly honest we will admit that the level to which we might possibly rise is rarely our chief concern. More important is reaching the level where we can merely survive or, at the very least, mock survival. Getting there is much easier. Getting there requires less time, less pain, and less effort. Getting there is too often there enough.

I see people everyday that claim they want to achieve something so bad...they'd give anything to have it or reach it. But to me they speak with empty voices... How many of them are truely willing to give everything they've got, to work their butt off, to get up before sunrise, to be studying while others are sitting on the caouch watching TV?

I've been involved in sports half of my life. I have seen so many athletes come and go. Some of them had a God givven talent to be the best, some of them just had the will to push them work hard and be the best. All of them claimed they wanted something. But few actually did something to achieve it. Many had the opportunity to show what they were made of. Many had the opportunity to get where they wanted to be....but the trick is that most of the time opportunity is dressed as work...yes! That is the truth. You have to work hard to get where you want to be.

Most people get content to spend their life just merely surviving, just to get through the day. They don't care what they are gonna do as long as it gives them enough to survive...

Why? Because greatness is HARD. Our bodies don’t care about potential. They were built to survive, not to excel, and survival has gotten pretty easy. Our bodies don’t know that by being stronger and faster and leaner the likelihood of illness, disease, and injury drop dramatically. Our bodies only know that it hurts like hell getting there. It takes supreme physical and mental fortitude and an unflinching, genuine ambition to overcome these hurdles. Most of us lack this and it shows.

Yea... you might not become the best basketball player, the smartest person in the world, the best manager...there will be always somebody better than you. What I am saying is that you should not put up with mediocrity. You should always aim high. You should always chase your dreams. You should never let the odds to keep you from doing what you truely believe in your heart you were meant to do!

There are so many of us that faced with the reality of what it would take to reach THE GOAL we balked,just give up and put up with being just a mediocre person who is willing to just get through the days, without aspirations, dreams, goals... This is an all too common tragedy.

Sadly, it seems that our praise of greatness and our distaste for mediocrity is an appreciation and expectation reserved for others. We expect Jordan or Phelps or Ronaldo to reach their potential every time they compete and we shake our heads when they fall short. But we shrug off our love handles and that occasional chocolate cake as acceptable losses. We cry for the children growing up without physical opportunities, yet lie on the couch and amicably waste ours away. We claim we’re too old, too fat, too injured, or too tired. The truth is we’re too obsessed with getting by.

The good news is that potential has no shelf life. Whatever state you’re in at whatever moment, you can always be better. SO BE BETTER. Too often people try to do this by setting a number to hit, a person to beat, or a mirror to impress, implicitly attaching a finite quality to the process. This focus is flawed. As you change and improve, so too should your potential grow and your ambition swell...

So do not let hardships keep you from reaching your potential. Be willing to work hard. It will hurt, you will be willing to give up but if you hang there and push hard I assure you that it will be worth it!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

It's not about what you are eating.It is about what is eating you!

A couple days ago I ran into a british tv show called "Superfat vs Superskinny". I watched a couple episodes on youtube and that caught me thinking about people all over the world that are struggling with food. There are those of them that are binging and others that starve themselves to death. What makes them do it? Is it just because they find food so tasty that leads them to excessive eating or on the other hand do they find it so nasty that they refuse eating it? ...

Unfortunately in my life I have had a couple vivid examples with people suffering from bulimia,anorexia and some obese people. Some of those people ain't alive anymore... sad isn't it? What made them torture their bodies that way?

I've noticed that most people that are overweight try to fill emotional emptiness with food. They find it really comforting.It makes them feel happy. They think that the happiness they feel while eating is gonna make the saddness,disappointment and heartache disappear. But does it happen that way? No! It even makes you feel worse! After you stuff yourself with food to the point where you feel your stomach is gonna explode you start feeling guilty and fat and that makes you sadder than you actually were. There are pleanty of examples about people that experienced some hardships and turned to food as their saviour.

Let's talk a little bit about those that starve themselves to death. It all starts the same way. They meet obstacles in life, experience a couple disappointments, probably loose control over their lives...and that is when they try to find balance in life by controling food. They have lost control over everything that happens to them so why not control their food? They start eating small portions, the portions become smaller everyday. The food starts being absent in their plate but in the same time "the life" in their body is absent too. They become weaker and weaker and finally it turns out that they don't even have control over the food anymore...they are now controlled by food...

It turns out that by trying to hide emotional emptiness we tend to become food slaves...ain't it sad? Remember we are people...we are supposed to be the most intelligent creatures and we let FOOD to get the leading role in our life?

As it is said life should be lived forwards but could only be understood backwards... so next time before you stuff yourself till your stomach hurts or you think of starving yourself to death...just stop, give yourself a time and look back on your life and what makes you crave that food...find something that makes you happy, no matter if it is walking in the park,driving your car,reading the newspaper...just find what it is and do it...I guarantee you it will help the emotional pain go away faster than eating or starving will...and most important it won't make your body and mind suffer!

Saturday, September 11, 2010


"The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook."
-William James

Sometimes the things that may or may not be true
are the things a man needs to believe in the most.
That people are basically good.
That honor, courage and virtue mean everything;
that power and money ... money and power mean nothing.
That good always triumphs over evil.
And I want you to remember this....
that love....
true love never dies.
Remember that.
Doesn't matter if it is true or not, a man should believe in those things,
because those are the things worth believing in......

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

...to open a door,to clear a path...and to set yourself free...

To let go isn't to forget, not think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't winning, and it isn't losing. It's not about pride, and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It's not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss, and it's not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and to move on. It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and to set yourself free.

Monday, September 6, 2010

The epidemy of our century a.k.a childhood obesity

Child obesity is one of world’s leading problems. Nowadays more and more children suffer from diseases that are typical for adults- diabetes, high blood pressure, heart diseases and etc.

Obesity is a metabolic disturbance with chronicle character which is a result from complicated interactions between genetics, hormonal balance and the surrounding environment. Obesity is most commonly caused by a combination of excessive dietary calories, lack of physical activity, and genetic susceptibility, although a few cases are caused primarily by genes, endocrine disorders, medications or psychiatric illness.

During the past half century the calories eaten by people are dramatically getting higher, and the change in the eating habits of the population is not just in a matter of quantity but also in quality. Another external factor influencing the low physical activity is caused by economy and industrialization which have led to the minimum the need to be physically active. In the past our ancestors received awards for being physically active and today we are forced to pay in order to be involved in sports.

But where is hidden the problem with our kids “growing wider”? Is it in the family,school, the social environment or somewhere else?

Let’s first look the family. The example that parents give to their kids play an important role in children’s life. It pretty much builds children’s habits and views for life. According to a study 75% of children that have overweight parents are also “cursed” to inherit their shape. You will say “Sure, it is the genes!”. But is it actually true?Does it always have to be the genes that take all the blame. Or is there other reasons that we try not to see in the desire to find an excuse? Every morning you stop at Dunkin Donuts, try all their donuts, brownies, new drinks full of cream and sugar. For lunch you grab some pizza and ice cream and on your way back home you go to KFC and you buy the delicious ,crispy, chicken wings and the only healthy thing in your food is the leaf of lettuce in your McDonald’s sandwich you had over a talk with your friend…how could you expect your child to be dying to eat fruits, vegetables, nuts and meat? Did you forget you were his role model?

Do we want our children to have a better life and feel healthy?...if the answer is yes we should first change ourselves and the way we influence them will be different.
Another reason that is a main factor for children obesity and is again coming from the family are parents relations. There are evidences that most of the children try to hide some emotional emptiness by eating….and I mean binge eating!

There is a study in which they asked some overweight children what is the reason to eat so much…and the most common answer was that they found comfort in food when they had some bad emotions in their life. So again it is up to the parents! Take your time and think if you are giving your child the love and attention it deserves? Maybe in your family there are a lot of fights that are hurting your child and he/she finds salvation in food. When I say attention I do not mean grabbing a happy meal on your way home and giving it to your child thinking that you have compensated for your absence. Your children do not need your presents…they do not make them happy! The NEED YOU!

The other place where we should search the fault for obesity is at school. Our children spend a lot of time there and have most of their daily meals there. Is the food they have at school healthy and does it give them the proper nutrition? I think that all of you will agree that it doesn’t! It should be paid more attention to the food children eat at school. I read about that small town in the USA where people decided to make the first step towards healthy lifestyle. They made up that S.O.S program (Save Our Schools). It concentrates on kids having balanced and nutritionally dense foods at school, they even grow their own vegetables in the school yard and after that prepare their own food.

Another problem at school are the P.E. classes. Before when I hear about P.E. my first association was sport. Now…it is more like let’s have some leisure time to sit around and chat. I heard about a teacher that punished kids, when somebody made something wrong. And the punishment was “No P.E. class for all the students”. Could a normal person punish all the kids to stay in the dusty classroom just because Ivan took Maria’s pencil? I think that we should definitely think more about our children’s health and instead of limiting their physical activity we should motivate them to move more!

And remember that your kids ain’t fat because thei ain’t moving…they ain’t moving because they are fat!!

Next reason for obesity is the MEDIA! The tendency, about animated heroes being exploit like commercial models of the newest food masterpieces of the fast food restaurants, is growing every day. In a study they gave children hamburgers, fries and carrots. Some of them were packed in a simple wrapping and others were packed in wraps with the face of a movie hero. The result was that about 80% of the kids said that the carrot in the “colored” wrapping tasted better than the one in the simple wrapping. What that means is that it is really simple to manipulate children by “accidently” forming their needs and desires.

The causes of obesity could be found in hundreds places but we should start the transformation from somewhere. In the world there are about 45million children at the age from 1-5 that are obese and the tendency is for this number to get higher. Do you want this to be our children’s future? To be food slaves? Let all of us try to lead healthier life and hope that our kids will be our fellow- travellers in this journey.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Your life is your own choice

People talk everywhere how somebody I s a product of their own environment. This is always the case when someone has done something wrong, and the argument is used as an excuse for the person as if they had no choice in the matter other than to become what their environment leads them to be. But do I think that way too? Sure, I don’t!

If that was true, there are countless great people that shouldn’t have achieved what they did because their bad environment should have “eaten” them. Everything in life boils down to choice and the power to choose lies within the individual.

Some situations make the choice a lot more difficult, but the choice itself remains the same! People should always take there own responsibility for what has happened or has failed to happen to them. Once you understand it you become empowered to see that you and you alone decide your future through the choices you make. Yes, bad things will still happen. They always do! Sometimes you can not run away from them, but you always have control how you will react to them! Every time that something goes wrong, just think how blessed you are and how much worse it could be. Every time your car breaks down on the road and you have to walk a couple miles, think about the amputee that would give everything to be at your place and be able to walk those miles. Everytime you are having a hard time at work, think about the person that does not have work at all. When you are mad at your husband or wife, think about the person that would give everything to have somebody next to him and not feel so lonely. Take all the bad things that happen to you with a smile on your face and just learn from them, because they are the things that make you stronger and that make you the person you are.

It has been this attitude of believing that my choices directly impact my quality of life that has helped me to fight through adversity throughout my life. I believe that hard work leads to prosperity. Hard work is difficult and most people would rather make excuses and externalize the responsibility instead of claiming it for their own and simply owning up to the fact that their lives are substandard because they have chosen the path of least resistance and taken the easy way out. Throughout life they have always made the choices that presented the least challenge and their results are clearly indicative of this. It is so much easier to temporarily escape your problems than it is to get to work solving them. But what is true for life is that you always get what you settle for!

I have been through some shitty stuff in my life. I know what it feels like to loose a parent. I know what it is like to have all your dreams and aspirations to break down in an instant. I know what it is like to EXIST without a purpose in life. I know how it feels like to need somebody to give you a hand when you have fallen but to find that everybody is just trying to step on you. I know how it feels to feel so lonely when there are so many people around. I know what it is like to loose the love of the person you have admired your entire life.

I know what it I slike to contemplate suicide because my problems seemed so horrible, so insurmountable, that they appeared to have no discernible answers I could fathom. I’ve felt completely alone in the world with them, and the only thing I desired was for the pain to stop. I know what it’s like to feel all of this on the inside and yet walk through life presenting myself on the outside as if nothing was wrong.

And you know what? I am not saying this looking for sympathy. I am sure there are tons of people that have a life that is so much harder and that have gone through worse things. I say it to those people that think that the bad things that happen to them are the end of the world. But trust me they are not! Everything has a reason to happen the way it does! Yes, you may not see it now cause your eyes are full of tears and you can’t see clearly but in the long run you will find out that what was taken away from you was just because you will receive something better in the future!

I am grateful for all the bad things that have happened to me, because they only made me stronger. They taught me to enjoy the little things in life. To enjoy every second of my life and not taking anything for granted. And to have hope that a better tomorrow is coming when I am stuck in the dark!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Why should you do crossfit

I have been involved in sports my entire life...I've practiced a lot of things...you name it, I played it! I have always loved the action and movement in sports. When I was young I did not really like traditional weightlifting. It looked way too boring for me. Later on when the injury pt the end of my basketball dreams I did not know what I was aiming for in life. The only thing I was sure about was that I wanted to have something to do with sports for the rest of my life. So now I intended to do the thing I used to get bored of-weightlifting. I decided I wanted to become a personal trainer have my own gym some day. So I followed this passion for a while until....

....I found Crossfit. I fell in love with it. While traditional weightlifting concentrates on the outside and gives you that good looking body, Crossfit gives you the change from the inside out. It is like a great sports car. Every body wants the car and weightlifting gives you the nice look of the car but does not give you the oportunity to use its potential. When you workout in the gym you may get those nice abs and round,thight butt but would you be able to run 5miles, or jump on a 45inch box, or maybe do muscle ups on the rings? SUre you won't.

But Crossfit...well that is a whole different thing. While weightlifting makes you look good, crossfit makes you actually being good!...and the nice body is just a consequence of the inner change you get!

Crossfit is the best sport I have been involved in. It feeds my passion, gives me new obstacles to overcome everyday, higher achievments to aim for, great feeling about myself and the way I look, great friends that share my interests and my goals!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Great workout

Yesterday we had a great workout at the field. A lot of people came and it was tons of fun. We took some pictures and later on when we uploaded them a lot of people got interested in what was that thing called "Crossfit". It would be nice if more people give crossfit a try and join us! :)

Sunday, July 11, 2010

My new drug

Today is Sunday...usually that is the only day during the week that I give myself rest from practicing...but not today. Last week I decided that this Sunday I am gonna have "a date" with my new obsession-crossfit!

So I woke up this morning had my new favorite breakfast and then I headed to the field....and I had the best workout I have had in the past 3-4years. And let's keep in mind that I have about 13-14 practices a week...so you could only imagine how great this morning practice was!!! For the first time in a long long time I felt that soreness after practice, the one that is "saying" yea I had a hard practice and I am tired but it was so great!

So now I am looking forward to my next crossfit practice. Unfortunately my swimming season is not over yet and I practice twice a day and I can't fit a third practice in the day... but I am so obsessed with crossfit that I am thinking about a way to actually fit three practices so I can go to the field on Tuesday again. If I do not make it then I will have my practice next Sunday! So no matter when will be the next time crossfit is my new drug! :)

My favorite breakfast

That is my favorite breakfast from now on. Up to this day I used to eat oats every single morning for the past year and a half but from now on I will have this one.

I made a healthy pancake with 2whole eggs+2whites+vanilla then put it in the frying pan without any oil and when I baked it I put some honey and cinnamon and instead of ice cream I put home made yogurt! It was delicious! :)

Monday, July 5, 2010

Have the courage to folow your heart and intuition...

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thoughts and passions after the long break from posting...

After the long break from writing I decided I am gonna start posting about my thoughts and passions again. I made one more blog…this time in my native language.
A lot of things happened the last couple months. Let’s start with my health first… It was good about two or three weeks and then things got bad again…this time even worse. I visited a lot of doctors and had a lot of exams but none showed what was the reason for my bad health-the permanent exhaustion and the pains on my right and left side of the stomach.

As you may guess my bad health reflected at my practices. The last couple months I do not practice as much as I used to. I still go to practice twice day every day, but I swim less than before and the intensity of my practices is a lot lower. I will miss the summer swimming championship too. But right now this is not the most important thing. I would be really happy if doctors find the reason behind my bad health so I can be able to cure it and get back to my life again.

During these months I went through from the top to the bottom over and over again. At times I felt like I wante dto quit on everything and everybody but there was still that light at the end of the tunnel my unbeatable hope that hardships will be just a bad memory soon and I will be back on track. I used this time to concentrate on different things. I have been reading a lot about working out and nutrition lately. I started working as a personal trainer and I am slowly getting closer to fullfilling some of my dreams.

Another thing that happened to me is that my passion about crossfit got stronger and I even attended my first crossfit practice last Sunday. I did not participate…I just watched ‘cause my health ain’t that good now…but I am thinking I will get in the crossfit battle this weekend if I feel better.

I think that everything that happened to me lately gave m e eagood lesson…and I think I truly deserved it because lately my ambitions were higher than my capability and it was right about time for something to stop me when I was obviously incapble of doing it myself. Now the time will show when I will be ready to get back up and be on track and let’s hope that this time I will do it wisely and carefully!

Thursday, March 18, 2010


" If you want to get what you never had, you should do what you have never done!"

I have been having one of the hardest times ever... After the injury put the end of my basketball career I slowly found the way back and was on the top for a while... I was feeling pretty happy... but lately I am struggling a lot and I think I am digging deeper... That sickness won't go away... actually it is getting worse... I am still practicing twice a day and that does not seem to help much...yesterday I reached my limit again... I was about to break down and give up on everything....

This weekend is the competition...but I am not swimming...We had a talk with the coach and we decided that it is better to take some rest and get healthy instead of making it worse by taking part in this competition...

That really put me down, cause I feel like I have quit on everything I believe in....feels like I gave up... that is making me sad...
So yesterday I was feeling totally exhausted...I do not have any physical strength right now and it feels like my mental strength is fading away...

So I was supposed to swim by myself while others have competition...but I am feeling terrible and I talked to my coach and she said I better rest a couple days and see if it gets better...

It is so hard for me to rest... I always do something, I am used to being busy with my schedule all day long... and now when I am supposed to rest it feels like I am wasting my life...and that feeling is killing me... But oh well... I say I am a pretty strong will person...so I must put my will in action and make myself rest...because this time it seems that is the only option rest! So sometimes you got to do what you have never done in order to get to where you want...in this case-REST in order to achieve....

As one person once told me...very often the unplanned rest turns out to forced rest...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

The new challenge...

So it turned out that I have iron deficiency anemia. It is a common type of anemia.Iron deficiency anemia occurs when the dietary intake or absorption of iron is insufficient, and hemoglobin, which contains iron, cannot be formed.Iron deficiency ranges from iron depletion, which yields little physiological damage, to iron deficiency anemia, which can affect the function of numerous organ systems. Iron depletion causes the amount of stored iron to be reduced, but has no effect on the functional iron. However, a person with no stored iron has no reserves to use if the body requires more iron. In essence, the amount of iron absorbed and stored by the body is not adequate for growth and development or to replace the amount lost.

The iron deficiency anemia tends to develop slowly, adaptation occurs and the disease often goes unrecognized for some time. That was exactly my case. I was doing way too many things and I thought that was the reason I am so tired...but as the things got worse and I had some medical exams it turned out that there is a reason for my fatigue...

Everybody is amazed how this could happen because I am eating pretty healthy and there isn't a reason for all this to happen...but is it really that way? Actually,NOT! One of the reasons for iron deficiency anemia is way too much physical activity...and guess what? That is exactly what happened with me...so, as people say...nobody can harm you as much as you can harm yourself...

So now I am taking some pills and I am waiting to get better. But at the end of the week I have competition. I practiced so hard all year long and now everything went to waste... I was wondering if there is a point to swim at the competition...but yesterday my coach called me and asked me if I will be able to swim... I thought for a second and told her I am not right sure I will endure it but my final decision is that I AM SWIMMING! :) And she said..."Of course, you will swim, we worked so hard for this..."

So now I am trying to prepare myself mentally that as I jump off that block I have to swim with my whole heart and give everything I've got and the most important thing is to NOT GIVE UP no matter how hard it is! I have been through so much and I am still here, stronger than ever...that is why I should find the strength again!

I know that I won't swim as good as I wanted to or as fast as I worked for, I may finish last... I may not...nobody knows what is going to happen but the most important thing for me now is to fight till the end...Everyone has their long and winding road to travel, will it be easy?...NO WAY! But what makes the difference on whether or not we finish our race is if we can keep the picture of the finish line in our hearts....a fighter that fights with heart doesn't know how to lose but then again he doesn't know how to win either......he... just knows how to fight for what he wants with no regrets!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

An angel in disguise

Yesterday started as an ordinary day! I went to practice in the morning then got back home did some stuff and later on I headed for the second practice. First I had some weightlifting... I did not feel very good but I pushed it through and it was time for the swimming... I got into the pool but I felt terrible, I felt so weak. All my strength has left me, but I kept repeating myself that I will make it through this practice, so I kept pushing but as I was swimming it became more and more unbearable. My lungs were hurting really bad as I was breathing and I did not have strength at all. My eyes were full of tears but I kept swimming and finally I reached my physical limit and mi mind's limit too... I could not practice anymore, so I stopped at the end of the pool and my coach asked "How are you feeling?". As I looked up to her she jumped out of her chair and said" Oh my... you are about to cry" ...and I do never cry in front of people but I just couldn't help it this times and my tears started falling and I told her I could not finish the practice... She said "Get out it is ok" She told me to go home and get some rest and not worry about it...

I went in the locker room and I sat on the bench crying. It was just I and one 7year old girl. She came to me and said "Why are you crying?" I smiled at her and told her I wasn't...but she kept standing there and said " But if something is wrong please tell me!And do not cry!". I smiled again and thanked her for asking me how I was...and then I went under the shower... In a couple minutes that same girl came to me with martenica( it is something like a traditional white and red bracelet that all bulgarians put on their hands in March) and it had a heart on it and she put it on my hand and smiled. That was one of the kindest things somebody ever did for me(especially somebody that is only 7 years old!) .

So I rushed and put my clothes on and went to the caffee and took her chocolate and I went to her and handed her the chocolate. She was staying there crossing fingers, looking down, smiling...I asked her to take it like 6 or 7 times and when she finally took it she had the biggest smile in world...she ran out, turned back a couple times smiling at me...

Then I left the pool and I walked through the park like an hour and a half, just slowly walking and thinking... that girl really made one of the worst days in my life really special and happy! So it is in toughest moments when we meet the greatest people...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Will I overcome it?

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”

Lately life has been throwing me some obstacles on the road to my goals. I have been giving everything I have to go through them but it hasn’t worked out so far. I keep climbing and when I am just about to see the top I fall back to where I was. Some days the falling is hurting pretty bad, I am feeling like it is all pointless and like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

But is it really that way? I truly, deeply in my heart have faith that everything happens for a reason and even though it is so hard for me now, if I keep pushing harder and not give in I will finally reach that top and stay there at least for a while. You know how people say that it took a stone cutter a hundred and one hits to break a stone but it wasn’t the last hit that did it, it was all the hits that slowly but surely destroyed the stone…

Most people tell me I am doing way too many things and I should give up on some of them because I am wearing out my body and I won’t keep up with it for too long but… you know that when you come to the end of your rope, you should tie a knot and hang on. That is pretty much what I am trying to do… I feel like my strength is gone but I always find a little more to keep pushing…

I have a competition in less than two weeks, and I feel extremely exhausted. My practices are pretty easy before the competition but I still have problem with them… they seem so hard to my body that is struggling with them. After every practice I feel warn out. During the day I feel so dizzy and I can hardly keep up with my schedule… I can’t wait to go to bed and sleep… I started sleeping like 8 or 9 hours a day and I still feel like I am not getting enough sleep… I do not know what is wrong with me… I had some medical exams and doctors said they haven’t seen such good results in a long time… They say that maybe I reached the limit of exhaustion and it will take a while till I start feeling good again…

And that are not good news for me… as I said the competition is coming… I practiced so hard and gave everything I’ve got and now I do not have an idea how I am going to swim… I can hardly endure to swim 25metres fast and at the competition I have 50,100 and 200metres breaststroke… I am a pretty optimistic person but I do not see it happening…

When I am in the pool I feel like I do not have enough air and like there is not much oxygen getting to my muscles… so my muscles feel so stiff most of the time…it is a real torture…
I am thinking that if it does not get better to end of the week I will have to talk to my coach and tell her to let somebody else swim instead of me at the competition because otherwise it is gonna be really ugly at the competition…  And that is tearing my heart apart…

I can’t believe that I am intending to do this… I do NEVER give up… and this time? But I am really exhausted it feels like even my strong will is leaving me… Hope I find the strength to overcome this , because nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. And if I pass all the pebbles in my path it will turn out that I have passed the mountain…

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Two years with the blue sport :)

Two years ago on this day-March,3 I started practicing swimming. I consider this to be one of the best decisions in my life! I totally love it, adore it and whatever else comes up to your mind! Thanks to swimming and the people I met while practicing I found the true meaning of life! I understood what is to be truly happy and I understood what is the meaning of the saying "Every ending is a new begining". I can't find the words to express how happy that sport and the people connected with it make me feel. I thank to all of them... they really can not realize how much they gave me and how much it means to me. You made my life great and keep making it better!

Bulgaria's National Day

In 1868, Vassil Levski called upon among his countrymen to take up armed struggle for independence from Ottoman rule. He was arrested in 1872, sentenced and executed in 1873. In 1871 the CENTRAL BULGARIAN REVOLUTIONARY COMMITTEE with its seat in Bucharest, Romania was founded.

A rebellion in 1876, lead by Georgi Benkovski, was brutally supprressed by Ottoman forces, c. 30,000 persons fell victim to the atrocities committed by Ottoman forces.

A diplomatic conference aiming at reducing the tension did not bring any results; in 1877 Russian Czar Alexander II., regarding himself the protector of the Orthodox christians living within the Ottoman Empire, declared war on the latter. Russian forces, which were joined by a Bulgarian corps of 7,000 volunteers, defeated the Ottoman forces, among others in a battle at Shipka Pass. In 1878 the Ottoman Empire, in the TREATY OF SAN STEFANO had to concede the creation of a large Bulgarian state which would include Macedonia and Rumelia. The war had cost c. 200,000 lives on the Russian side. Bulgarians refer to Russian Czar Alexander II. as Czar Osvoboditel, Czar Liberator.

Other European powers, most of all England and Austria-Hungary, regarded this Bulgarian state a Russian satellite and were unwilling to accept the situation; a repetition of the Crimean War threatened. Then Bismarck called the representatives of the European states to meet at the BERLIN CONGRESS (1878). Here the Treaty of San Stefano was annulled. Macedonia and Thrace remained Ottoman provinces; a smaller (northern) Bulgaria was granted political autonomy within the Ottoman Empire, while the southern region of Rumelia would keep closer links to the Empire.

From July 10th 1877 to July 8th 1879, Bulgaria was placed under a provisional Russian administration.

The liberation of Bulgaria came as a result of the victory of Russia in the Russo-Turkish war declared on 12 April 1877. During the war, 12 battalions of more than 12,000 Bulgarians joined with the Russian army to fight against the forces of Ottoman Empire. On March 3, 1878, the Peace Treaty of San Stefano (a tiny town near Istanbul) between Russia and the Ottoman Empire was signed which brought Bulgaria back to the political map. The Peace Treaty of San Stefano marks the revival of the Bulgarian State, submerged under Ottoman rule since the end of 14th century. However, the actual life of independent Bulgaria started after the Berlin Congress, which took place a couple of months later in 1878.
It is this day that is remembered as Bulgaria's Independence, as throughout its cities, towns and villages the people of Bulgaria pause for a tribute. Bulgarians are proud to point out that none of Bulgaria's losses have ever been in battle.

The first time of marking March 3 occurred in 1880, in honor of Enthronement of Russian Emperor Alexander the Second. Since 1888 March 3 has become Bulgaria's Day of Liberation and it was not pronounced a National Holiday until 1978.

Since 1990 the date March 3 is included in the list of Bulgaria's official holidays, according to a parliamentary decree.

Appropriately, Bulgaria honors Russian Czar Alexander II as a primary figure among its "founding fathers" with statues of him in many cities, including one in the heart of its capital, Sofia.

Although decidedly a man of peace, Alexander II became the reluctant champion of the oppressed Slav peoples and in 1877 finally declared war on Turkey. Following initial setbacks, Russian arms eventually triumphed, and, early in 1878, the vanguard of the Russian armies stood encamped on the shores of the Sea of Marmara. The prime reward of Russian victory -- seriously reduced by the European powers at the Congress of Berlin -- was the independence of Bulgaria from Turkey.

The struggle of the Balkan peoples for freedom from centuries of Ottoman domination was reflected in the Ottoman Empire's strained international relations: the Serbo-Turkish conflict of 1876; and the Russo-Turkish wars of 1877 through 1878. The latter conflict was resolved, for the time being, by the signing of the San Stefano Peace Treaty on March 3, 1878. With Turkey defeated and weakened by internal strife, the Russian Czar was able to dictate the terms of the treaty. In an attempt to secure enduring access to the Aegean Sea, he created the new Bulgarian state on the Balkans. However, when the Western powers convened for the Congress of Berlin in July, 1878, the Russian hopes for creating a Greater Bulgaria on the Balkans were stymied.