Just be yourself!

Trying to be somebody you are not is just a waste of the person you are!

Have you ever thought if what you are doing and aiming for is actually what you really want? Have you ever thought you might be chasing other people's dreams and not your own? There are so many examples about people that have always been taught what is the right thing for them to do! People pick on them since childhood what should their life look like and what they should aim for. And most of the time it turns that you are chasing your parent's unfulfilled dreams...and you actually hate it but you are so used to hearing that is what you are supposed to do that you actually believe you want it. But do you really?





I think that everybody should make their own choice how to live life and even if others do not like it... that does not have to stop us! We should always fight for what we love even when nobody else thinks it is worth it!

Another thing is when you really look up to somebody and you really want to be like that person. You do everything to imitate him or her... but is this the right thing to do? Everybody has unique abilities...you should just find what are yours and start developing them instead of loosing yourself in the effort to be somebody else! What a waste would it be to spend your life seeking to be someone you are not! What a true joy it is to spend your moments expressing and fulfilling the authentic person you are!

Every day is the perfect day for you to sing your own song, to live the joy that is yours to live and to create the beauty that is yours to give!

The right decision...

I bet everybody had a moment in your life when you had to make an important decision. You know that weird feeling that conquers you... you spend your whole day...even night thinking and you never find the right decision! When you think you figured it all out, suddenly something pops out and you are in the starting position again. You always wonder what you should choose and which one is the perfect one for you...well guess what! Most choices involve some kind of compromising. In reality a thing like "the perfect option" does not exist! No matter what you choose there will always be positive and negative sides. You just have to decide which one will bring more positives and go ahead and do it.

Instead of holding out for a perfect choice that never does come, make the best choice from the options available to you. It’s better to move forward with a slight degree of disappointment than to be endlessly stuck on making a decision.

It is kind of foolish to think that one choice is what makes your life or something that will interfere with your dreams. Because you know that what happens in your life is a long string of choices and they all determine how your life develops. You know that the journey to your dreams is not just one single step...it is thousands steps or in other words thousand choices.

So instead of always staying in the same place and not being capeble of making a decision, just be braver and start moving forward... and remember that there isn't such a thing as bad decision...everything bad leads to something good and everything good leads to something bad...it is just life! It is like a forever rolling ball and it is inevitable to go through good and bad...

Wednesday

“Things don’t go wrong and break your heart
so you can become bitter and give up.
They happen to break you down and build you up
so you can be all that you were intended to be.”

– Charles Jones

Some ramblings....

Sometimes on days like today's I really feel like giving up everything and just going somewhere where nobody knows me and forget everything of my life so far... (but just feel that way...I wouldn't give up!) ... I feel so down today... lately I have been trying so hard to deal with everything and it never comes out the way I'd like it to be... I hate it when it happens like that... I am feeling so exhausted... today I totally blew out both of my practices... I swam terribly.... even my coach was wondering what was wrong with me... tell you the truth even I have been wondering lately.... I had some sprints and I hardly did them, the coach even made me swim two sprints less than I was supposed to... I tried so hard but it still came out terrible, even my head started hurting from the effort I made... I don't know why everything is going so wrong... the coach said that two weeks before the competition I will stop the weightlifting before the second practice and that I will swim not more than a mile and a half... that almost made me cry... I looooooooooooove practicing... it is lik emy favorite part of the day... Today while I was swimming all I wanted was to get out of the pool and go somewhere and be alone... I thought how sometimes I really feel like giving up on everything but my next thought was that I have had way harder moments and that I sticked up for so long...why would I quit on everything NOW! If I give up now...the last couple years would be just a big waste of time... and I am not a quitter... so I will have to pull it through again! Hope I will find the strength again...

What it feels like to date a figure competitor

I just read that and thought I'd share it with you

What it feels like to date a figure competitor, by Chris Shugart

“Let’s get one thing clear: Sex with a very fit, very athletic woman is awesome. No surprise there, right? You should put it on your bucket list. But while the sex is grade-A, but the rest of the relationship can be … tricky.

I’m so strict with my diet that I’ve been called a “food Nazi.” Yet the figure competitors I’ve dated think I eat horribly, at least compared to their contest diets. There’s nothing quite like being nagged for eating too much plain chicken breast, or being put on a guilt trip for eating something “bad” … like a banana.

Dating can be tough. One figure competitor I was seeing had to be in bed by 7 p.m. because she got up at 3 a.m. to do cardio, then started training clients at 5 a.m. That 9 p.m. movie or concert you wanted to take her to see? Out of the question.
Likewise, taking her to a restaurant is pretty much impossible if she’s preparing for a show. Even the healthy stuff on the menu probably won’t meet her diet guidelines.

If you’re the jealous type, don’t date a figure gal. She’ll be nearly naked when she’s onstage, and probably taking part in provocative photo shoots when she isn’t. Even if you’re not the jealous type, it can get weird. There’s a tawdry underside to bodybuilding and figure modeling, and if she wants to place well in a contest or score a photo spread, she’ll have to spend some time with predatory sleazebags.

Her body takes some getting used to. Unless she has implants, the contest-ready figure competitor usually has no boobs. Expect some low-ab vascularity, and maybe even crotch veins.

On the bright side, that caboose? Amazing. Legs? Incredible. Belly? Like a warm, living sculpture. And fully shaved is usually standard.

Finally, if you’re in a serious, live-in, expense-sharing relationship, you have to understand that figure competition is expensive. You’ll be spending a lot of money on hair, nails, tanning, suits, supplements, photography, and travel.

But the biggest hit might be to your ego. Forget being the object of attention in your relationship; doing well in figure requires an almost single-minded focus and dedication. Her primary concern, especially around contest time, is herself, not you.

For a long-term relationship, a woman who’s into the fitness lifestyle but who doesn’t compete is probably your best bet.”

Do you really need a motivation

The most common sentences I hear people say are: “I don’t have time”, “I’m just too busy”, “I’ve got kids to look after” or “I have a full time job”. So, to me all that are just stupid excuses!What these people actually say is “I don’t want to” for one reason or another. Some of them say they do not have the motivation needed... but do you always need to have a motivation? I think that motivation is what gets you started but habit is what keeps you going...

Take time and think how many of you get up of a morning, have breakfast, take a shower, brush your teeth and keep on doing whatever you have to do? Everyone of us does it! And why are we doing it?Because you are inspired? Or maybe motivated? haha NO!!! We all do it because we HAVE TO for health and hygiene reasons and because it’s habit. We don’t even think about it we just do it because we’ve been taught that way and we have been doing it since we could remember!

To me healthy eating and fitness are not any different. They say it takes 21days to make something a habit.So push yourself to exercise and eat healthy for 3weeks and soon you will see that you will even like it and it won't be just a habit but a pleasure for you! I know every begining is hard! But YOU CAN DO IT! Just start caring more about your health and stop making all these stupid excuses! With them you won't make me believe you how busy you are but you are CHEATING ON YOURSELF AND YOUR HEALTH!

Live the life you love

“You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction.”

On Tuesday I have these "early" classes in college, that start at 8a.m. Every time I go there and I see other people I am studying with, they are always complaining how tired they are, and how they need to have some sleep...they all look so unmotivated...like the most important think they live for is to sleep all day long and go to the club at night... Nothing wrong with parties... but should that be the highest you aim for?

I am always surprised by people and how pointless some of them live! They don't seem to have any aspirations and goals... they are just waiting for life to pass in front of their eyes...and the worst part is that this doesn't bother them...not at all!

Most people always ask me how could I get up so early every day... last Tuesday while they were talking how much they needed to go to bed, I just laughed and said that when I go to that class I even get more sleep because I wake up at 6a.m. instead of 5a.m. ... so they were kind of puzzled... they always say they don't know how I find motivation to do it every single day...

Well the truth is that I totally LOVE most of the things I do everyday! At night when I go to sleep I can't wait to wake up and have my oatmeal with honey and then go to practice and so on... I even wake up like 4 or 5 times every night hoping it is time to get up from bed and get started with my schedule. So I truly do not need some specific motivation or somebody to push me in order to keep up with my busy schedule, simply because it is something I adore doing and something I am striving for...

So if you want something, just make sure you know exactly how bad do you want it and go strive for it! Then you will go every night to bed knowing you have done what you love and you will feel the pleasure of doing it. And that is when you will have the determination to get up every morning and do whatever you need to do in order to catch your dreams...

If you are gonna be my coach, I want you to be an example for me!

Have you ever asked yourself, who are the people that athletes spend the most time with? Well I think that is their coach! And I think that besides being in charge of your training, they should also be an example to you. The coach is usually somebody you trust and somebody you look up to!

Well, lately I have been observing coaches I see at the pool, and tell you the truth I am kind of disappointed. Let's take for example the coach of the synchronized swimming team... she is a lady in her middle thirties and she ain't the best looking person you have seen. And I do not mean only appearance, she is always frowned and mad about something...she is just not the person I'd like to spend half my day with!!!

So that lady is always talking to her athletes how they are fat, how they look terrible and stuff like that. And some of the girls on the team are so young, they are too young to understand what somebody else really means. They take every single word literally and trust me those words really stab their heart.

The other day that "coach" made the whole team stand on the bleachers. She forced all girls to take off their clothes and stay in their swim suits, and as they were taking the clothes off she was making them turn around and was telling them that they had a huge butt, or jiggling legs, or big bellies and etc.




I had a friend that was a synchronized swimmer and she was practicing with the same coach. She used to love practicing. You could see that sparkle in her eyes when she talked about sport. But she always came to school sad after practice and that was breaking my heart. She was a really good looking girl, she had a rocking body and everybody was envious about it and wanted to look like her, but to her coach she was always fat. She never looked good enough. And you know what she was doing? She was always on these pointless, stupid diets that remind me of photosynthesis. She wasn't eating with days, she was doing that Moon diet, where you don't eat anything and you just drink tea... and let's make the long story short...what happened eventually with her is that she just quit practicing and trust me she really had an amazing potential!




Every day I go to practice and I see so many stories like the one mentioned above... And the saddest thing is that all the coaches themselves do not pay attention to their health and body. They are all eating tons of chocolate and drinking tons of soda... if you meet them on the street you would never guess that this person might have something to do with sports! But everything said above, doesn't bother them at all, they just keep picking on their athletes for how fat they are and encouraging them to loose the weight in a really unhealthy way.



I remember one time, there was that girl-she is one of the top swimmers in the country, but she started putting on some weight. So at one training camp the coach put her on a diet...and that diet REALLY SUCKED!!! I remember that one of the days she was supposed to eat something like 4 or 5 potatoes and that was all the food for the day, and we should keep in mind that this girl was spending about 4-5hours in the pool and another 2 and a half hours in the weightlifting room every single day!!

I have seen hundreds of stories like that, and I am always wondering could it really be true that most of the coaches are so uninformed and uninterested in healthy eating and nutrition??? I think that everybody should study those stuff before they become coaches and start messing up with people's health and life!!

You can't imagine how many girls that are athletes in their effort to loose weight turn to the "easy" way, respectively bulimia and anorexia...

So I think that coaches should change their point of view and in first place start caring about their health first, in order to be a better example for their athletes and give them good, adequate and helpful advices not only on the training part but also nutritionally!

Life can't go any better than it does...

I love driving my car late at night, listening to some good, slow music and thinking over life... Some people consider it a waste of time but to me it is the best time of the day... some time just for me and my thoughts!

So the other day as I was driving I was thinking about my life so far and how it went on. I was thinking that I might have lost the THING I enjoyed and loved the most back then, that I lost all my childhood dreams( and nobody likes seeing them diminish in front of your eyes), that I lost almost two years of my life crying all day long and just EXISTING... but as weird as this may sounds it was all worth it! I am so happy with my life right now, and do not get me wrong I have a lot of things that are not going the way I want them , but now after everything that has happened to me I appreciate life a lot more, I appreciate little things so much, actually they are the most important!!!

I try to enjoy every simple thing that happens to me, every single moment that is given to me, and every single person that I have the pleasure to meet. Now every time something goes wrong I try to think it is for something better and that even though I do not see the good side of it NOW I will see it in the FUTURE!

I've come up with the conclusion that it is much better to have a couple early losses in your life, so you can leave the fear of keeping an "undefeated season" and just enjoy living. I think that the pain of not achieving my dreams will always be hidden somewhere deep in my heart but I truely believe that all that fell apart was in order for something better to fall together! And as time goes by I see it happening.

Sometimes I even think that the saying " Sometimes you do not know how lucky you are when you don't get what you want!", is so damn right! As I go back to the past and analyze everything I see that maybe it is true that if I kept on playing basketball my life would have gone in a direction that wouldn't have made me happy... maybe even if I had received what I wanted I wouldn't have been as happy as I am now and most importantly I couldn't become the person I am now! NOW I AM STRONG< BECAUSE I KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE WEAK! So whatever happens in life, take time to overcome it and keep on living and trust me one day you will see that your life couldn't have gone any better than it did!

Sometimes letting things happen is way better than rushing things happen...

Is there any area in your life where you have great success without really having to work hard for it? Is there something you are just naturally good at?

For me, sports have always been something that comes naturally to me. I've had times I worked really, really hard on getting something and then ended up not getting it...I had times when I worked really hard again but I was doing it having tons of fun and not concentrating on the goal itself but mostly on the journey and I ended up reaching the goal...

The thing that springs to mind is that if you are not attached to reaching your goal no matter what, to have that financial security or that happily ever after romance or whatever else comes up to your mind, you are more likely to have the happiness you look for in your life, and you will sure achieve your goals and aspirations. You should be grateful for all you've got and enjoy it but you should not constantly live with the fear of loosing it. Yet I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if that if what I have now disappears tomorrow I would be sad for the loss but not in any way completely crushed.

It's that old story about when you go for an interview for a job you don't want that much, or stop looking for a relationship that you get those things. It seems that our ability to let go of the desire ensures we end up getting those things despite our neutral feelings.

Do you really NEED to have a body that is in it's top physical condition? Must you always eat on plan and on schedule to feel in control? Are you consumed by the latest diet and training program? How bad do you want it? Do you need that gold medal? Or to always be in first place?

Maybe the intensity of your desire is what prevents you from getting what you want? Maybe wanting it bad means you're never going to get it, or if you do, you will be consumed by the fear of losing it. I myself have experienced that thing! Sometimes I get so lost in things I want to achieve, I completely ignore everything else and bust my ass off to achieve whatever I want that my mind gets so tired and overloaded and I end up achieving nothing... I just throw all that work to waste... or when I get what I want I constantly live with the fear I might loose it and wonder what I am gonna do after that...but come on..why do I need to make my life harder instead of living it to the fullest? Does it matter if I am gonna loose what I have today or tomorrow or after 40 years? No it does not matter how long you will have something as long as you took all the joy out of it. And how could you enjoy something to the fullest if you are always scared and careful because you might screw it up and loose it?

Let it go ... life is about happiness, honesty, growth and experience , relationship and banging body and whatever else you want will be the icing on the cake.

What I feel for you...

Today is February the 14th. As lovers all over the world celebrate St Valentine's Day, many Bulgarians insist February 14 should be reserved for a traditional Bulgarian celebration - the feast of St. Trifon Zarezan, the patron of vine growing and wine producing.

The St. Trifon Zarezan day offers a nice alternative to those who don't have a loved one to share the holiday with, but can still find a reason to celebrate.

The professional holiday of vine-growers and wine-makers has been officially celebrated since 1962. When the Gregorian Calendar was officially introduced by the Bulgarian Orthodox Church in 1968, the church services moved to February 1, but the Day of Vine and Wine is still commemorated on February 14.

According to old traditions, the culmination is the moment of choosing the "king of the vines" - usually a diligent vine-grower, who is thus said to sweep all good luck.

But since the fall of communism in the late eighties, when the day of the sweethearts came to the country people also celebrate St.Valentine's day.

Previously completely ignored by lovebirds in Bulgaria, St. Valentine's Day enjoyed escalating popularity over the years of the country's transition to Western-like lifestyle.

Gradually, February 14 became the date for exchanging love messages across catholic countries and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers.

So today I wanna tell one person that I love him unconditionally and thank him not for everything he has done for me but for the joys he brings and the happiness of who he is. I can't find the words to say exactly how I feel for him but that songs is the closest I could think of:



God Damn You're Beautiful

On the days I can't see your eyes,
I don't even want to, open mine.
On the days I can't see your smile,
Well i'd rather sit, wait the while.
For the days I know you'll be near,
'Cause a day without you, just isn't fair.
See the days I can hear you voice,
I'm left without a choice.

Plus I get weak in the knees,
Fall head over heels baby,
And everyother cheesy cliche`.
Yes I'm sweeped off my feet,
Oh my heart skips a beat.
But theres really only one thing to say.

God damn your beautiful to me,
Your everything, yeah thats beautiful
Yes to me, Ohhh

I can't find the words to explain,
Just how much you got me going insane.
When you speak to me sometimes we fight,
Oh I studder my words i say nevermind.
'Cause even when you just walk by,
Well I look around to seem occuppied.
'Cause i'm trying so hard to hide,
Yeah, All these feelings inside.

'Cause i get weak in the knees,
Fall head over heels baby,
And everyother cheesy cliche`.
Ohh I'm sweeped off my feet,
My heart skips a beat.
But theres really only one thing to say.

God damn your beautiful to me, Ohhh
Your everything, Yeah, thats beautiful
Yes to me, Ohhh
Yes to me, Ohhh

Yeah your beautiful..
Yeah your beautiful..
God damn, your beautiful,
To me,

"The milk magic"

Good evening everybody... this week has been a total mess! It was in the same time terrible and great... how could that fit together in the same time?....
Well you know about the problems with the blood pressure I had... now that I practiced only once a day this week my blood pressure is back to normal, which is good... that means it was just time for some rest even though I really did not feel like taking it...

The other night my mom came up with the idea about this "Tibetan Kefir Mushroom"... it is supposed to be something close to magical ;)
Here is a bit more information about that mushroom:

Tibetan Kefir Mushroom, a "living remedy". In total it cures 107 disease. This culture originated many thousands years ago in Tibet and the Caucasus. A Polish professor who lived and healed himself during his 5year stay in India brought this mushroom to Europe. He had a liver cancer, which he completely healed with this mushroom. When he left India this mushroom was given to him as a gift. It has been passed on from one generation to another for centuries.

Milk-Kefir is said to have all kinds of powers. Tibetan kefir is a probiotic food, containing lactic acid bacteria. Probiotic (life promoting) foods contain live microorganisms that can survive in the digestive tract where they confer a health benefit on the host. Within the Kefir fungus the lactic acid bacteria and the yeast fungus agglutinate into a corm, which when treated with milk produces an aromatic kefir drink within 24 hours. In the process the sugar that is contained in the milk is being deconstructed into lactic acid. This is why Milk-Kefir is so well suited for people that are allergic to lactose.

FACTS ABOUT TIBETAN KEFIR GRAINS TIBETAN KEFIR is a "living remedy". In total it cures 107 conditions. * The strongest natural remedy against any allergy; * The strongest and harmless natural antibiotic of our days; * Cures liver disease, gallbladder, dissolves gall bladder stones; * Completely clears the organism from slag, and takes out of the body all exchange products, including salts, heavy metals, radionuclides, and the exchange of alcohol products, chemical antibiotics, kidney stones, pathogene microorganisms;

* Lowers effect in levels of LDL cholesterol, * Treats diseases of gastrointestinal tract as gastritis, pancreatitis and also exacerbation of ulcer treats, stomach ulcers and 12 - Duodenal colorectal; * Identifies a number of anti-antibiotics from diseases of internal organs; * Gives the total cure from Candida; * Over 2-3 years strong hypertension is getting cured; * Stops the growth of cancer cells; * Speeds up the process of healing bruises; * Controlling psoriasis and eczema; * Influence effectively treatment of inflammatory diseases; * Has anti-tumour properties, reduce the size of tumours; * Treats heart disease, suspends calcination blood vessels, cleans blood vessels; * Regulates state of fatigue and wear body, boosts energy; * Enhances immune system; * Helps to relieve lung infections; * Helps to normalise metabolism and loose weight by breaking the fat globules down, normalises appetite; * Has youthful effect on the skin and on body cells, suspends aging cells. * Strengthen the hair; * Parodontosis cures; * Helps to lessen the effects of taken pharmaceutical antibiotics, cleans the body from antibiotics taken; * Restores the microflora in digestive system; * Lowers blood sugar and blood lipid levels, normalises blood pressure;

* Alleviate symptoms of diarrhea and chronic constipation; * Relaxing effect on the nervous system; * Rich in Vitamin B12, B1, and Vitamin K; * Helps from sleep disorders, depression, and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder); * Increases domestic reserves and tone the body, improves memory, attention; * Relieves all intestinal disorders, promote bowel movement; * Reduce flatulence and create a healthier digestive system; * Kefir is suitable for people that are allergic to lactose.

So the deal is I started drinking that milk today...and I totally hate milk!! And I think that milk and my goals do not fit at all!! I should drink like 1liter of milk a day...and that is so much... I have to cut part of my other food so that milk won't damage my physic... :( ... :)

And this morning I drank half liter of milk with my oats and cut the honey because it would be way too much carbs... then after practice I drank the other half and I did not eat a post workout meal because of that... and that really drives me insane! I had my lunch like 30minutes after I drank that "white magic" because I was starving... SO now I have to come up with a new meal plan including 1liter of milk a day and that totally freaks me out! ... I hope that it will be at least worth it...

That is the milk I should drink tomorrow:

I got my diploma for a personal trainer :)

Last Monday I had the exam for the personal trainer certificate. It went really well. I was so excited. The "teacher" said I did great throughout the two weeks. Yesterday I went and took my diploma and now I am ready to keep learning and slowly move on to the next level towards achieving my dream to have my own gym some day and be a personal trainer.


I want to say I am really thankful to my "teacher" Yordan Yordanov. He explains really good and put his heart into his work. You know how most people just try to get over the material as fast as they can. But he ain't like that he explains really profound everything. He answers all your questions as full as he could. He is just trying to make sure you are gonna get everything out of the course and be as prepared as possible.

I knew a lot of things even before I started the course but now I know at least twice as much and I am pretty excited to learn more in the future.

During the course I had two do a couple weightlifting and nutrition programs for different people with different goals. It was really exciting and interesting to me. I have never suspected that it is so much fun to do these stuff. I can't wait to make more programs like that in the future.

So, I am just really happy I decided to take the course and that I had such a great example like Yordan Yordanov!

Random thoughts ...

Just sharing some random thoughts... I am feeling pretty bad... I hate that feeling... it's kinda killing me inside... Today I did not practice and I am feeling really down...actually my tears are about to fall as I am writing...I have a terrible headache and stupid thoughts won't give me a rest... I just need practicing, it is my drug and I am addicted to it... usually my soul shines even on a cloudy day but today my soul is just like the weather outside... gray and sad and cold... I have to make it to the end of the week... I know I can but it still makes me feel terrible... But let me keep in mind that life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment and success usually comes to those who demonstrate a never ending will to act until they achieve... so this obstacle is just another test for me that I am determined to pass with an A :)

Sometimes your biggest gift is your biggest curse...

You know...it is funny how sometimes your biggest gift could end up being your biggest curse... Sometimes life is like a movie film...it repeats over and over again, and it seems like you are stuck in a circle... and usually do you know what is the worst part?? That it is ALL YOUR FAULT! Every time you are about to repeat the mistakes you made in your past and if you don't stop right there and think what they led too and if you really want and have the strength to go through that again... you will sure end up copying the past in the present... trust me...I have made it over and over again, and right now I am on that same crossroad... I've hit the bottom again.... lately I have been feeling exhausted all the time because I am trying to do way too many things and 24 hours ain't enough....unfortunately... everybody keeps telling me to slow it down but I kind of hope I have some superhuman force and that I will make it through... but guess what...I don't have superhuman forces... I am just an ordinary person that is trying to do some extraordinary stuff... So last week I started feeling pretty bad, my head was spinning on and off and I was feeling weak but I bet you guess I did not slow down with my schedule and I kept practicing... well I hoped things were going to get better after I had a little rest on Sunday, but unfortunately I was wrong again. My blood pressure has been pretty high lately something like 150/80 most of the time... so my parents told me to measure it at least 5-6times a day. So that is what I started doing and it kept being high until this morning when it was 160/88 and the aparat for the blood pressure showed that I had arrhythmia... of course I did not pay attention to it and went to my classes in college when I had that phone call from my mom and she asked me if I was intending to go to practice I said "Yes" .... she told me that this is way too wrong ( she has arrhythmia since the time she played basketball because she played with a flu and a really high temperature and that hit her in the heart)...so you understand why she is so worried about me... So when I hung the phone all that really got to me and I went back in the past when I was so f***king stubborn and kept playing with all these injuries and you know how I ended up... I asked myself if I wanted to go through this again and loose AGAIN something I totally love... I wondered why am I so stubborn and stupid sometimes... I have potential to do some good things and I always ruin it because I am too busy acting... I am too busy thinking that one practice skipped will ruin everything and stuff like that... but today I thought that I don't wanna loose everything again just when I stepped back on my feet... I just don't have the strength to do it again... so today I went to practice and talked to my coach and we decided that till the end of the week I will practice just once a day and she will make my practices lighter than usual...she said that she has been noticing that I need some rest and that my swimming was showing it too... so I am not gonna lie I had a terrible day... I cried a lot... I felt that terrible feeling I had in the past...the feeling of loosing everything just when you thought you had everything back together... but you know what.... I am not gonna blame it on life and say that life is terrible and life suck...because that is not true!!! LIFE IS JUST GREAT! It is the choices I take that make it so hard sometimes... but I have faith in myself and I know I am strong and nobody and nothing will take me down or break me up...sometimes life is most cruel with people that want to get the most out of life...but that is OUR OWN MISTAKE! We always have a sign something is going wrong but when we do not pay attention to it...we will finally get what we deserve... so that is exactly what is happening to me...

It's about time to start caring about children's health

I love going to the park for long walks. So the other day it was snowing a lot and I decided that I was gonna walk to the pool instead of take my car because I was supposed to dig it out from somewhere deep under the snow. So I headed to the pool an hour and a half earlier. On my way I passed by a lot of kid playgrounds and guess what they were all empty. And maybe some of you will say "It was cold and snowing, how do you expect to see kids playing around"... well it is not much different in the summer, or the spring or you name it when...it is always the same... you can't see more than three kids playing... everybody else is busy sitting in front of the TV watching stupid TV shows like Big brother or another similar show, everybody is busy playing D.O.T.A on the PC... Don't get me wrong there is not anything wrong with watching TV sometimes or surfing in the internet, but when all your life revolves around this...that is really WRONG!

That is one of the reasons that obesity among kids is getting such a serious problem in the last 10years. I remember the time when I was 10years old for example, there wasn't a force in the Universe that could make me stay home during the day. I was running around the neighborhood all day long, and when it was time for dinner my parents were always yelling from the balcony to get home in 5minutes, and I was always begging to stay outside and play just a little longer,and that little longer always became at least an hour. And guess what, at school in every class there used to be just one overweight kid, and everything has turned around to 360 degrees, and when you see kids, most of them are overweight and the normal kids are just a minor per cent.

And that ridiculous picture of the youngsters is a consequence of all the wrong perceptions of our society. I constantly see parents that do not let their kids to get dirty or play because they might fall and hurt themselves... well what is wrong with getting some mud on your clothes? What is wrong with scratching your knee? Come on, that is life! If you keep your kid away from all those "frightening" things, how are you expecting him or her to deal with life later on?

We need these up and downs while we are young so we can learn to deal with obstacles! Besides when you keep yourself under a glass lid and stay away from everything so you don't get dirty or ill or etc. , you do not help yourself, you only make it worse. That is way too bad for your immune system!

The other thing that is happening the last couple years has to do with the P.E. class at school! Nobody counts that class...it is something like a free class where you could sit on the bench and chat around or even go to the nearest coffee shop and eat junk food. So why am I surprised the playgrounds are empty...how could you expect from somebody to do something that they don't teach you at school.. you know school is sooooooo sooooooo important, they are supposed to teach you how to live life....bull***t again...


And before I forget...all these commercials that are chasing you everywhere you go... that "healthy" yogurt that has more carbs than you are supposed to eat in a day... or the "healthy,natural" syrup , in which the most natural thing maybe is the water it contains... or all these fruit flavored yogurts...why eat a fruit flavored yogurt instead of just eating a fresh fruit? ... Why didn't I see one time a commercial for something that is truely healthy, or about some sport activity that is being organized? Yea, maybe you will say, that they advertise the products that are being sold... but what you advertise is what people are going to buy... so when you advertise crap, they buy crap and that crap is ruining their health...

I myself have a cousin that is in that stupid situation. She is 10years old, and she is overweight. And she tried going to modern ballet but she did not stick too much with it, she is always on some "diet" for loosing the weight... Come on that is a 10year old kid...how could you let her get so overweight that she has tried more diets than all of my friends taken together... ANd when I go and see her she is always eating some biscuits and fruit flavored yogurts, and chocolates...is that the diet? How do you expect her to loose the weight when you literally push all that junk in her mouth? And every time I go and see her, I ask her what she has been doing..and she always says nothing, just the same boring stuff...are we still talking about a 10year old kid or for a grand lady in her late 80s??? Even my great grandmother is moving more... How could it be possible that a 10year old is staying the whole day at home watching all these movies on the TV ? ...let me say it again even my great grandmother is not watching that much TV...

So all these things are totally wrong and getting out of control with every single day passing... so I think it is about time that everybody steps back on their feet and start caring about children's health!

Moving on to the next chapter

The other day I was cleaning my room, so I could not skip to clean the dust off the shelves... and most of the shelves in my room are fool of basketballs,medals,awards and so on...things that constantly remind me of basketball. When I got injured the thought of putting them in a box and throwing them in the basement did not give me a rest, but I did not have the strength to do it and one of my friends constantly told me it is my past and I should not throw it away but just get used to it and move on. So every time I clean those shelves billions of memories fight in my head and my eyes always fill with tears, so cleaning those shelves is something I hate. Well this weekend as I started cleaning the medals and etc. these memories started rushing in my head again, and my eyes started filling with tears again! But this time I did not let them take over me and said myself that this is already in the past, and I have so many great things in my life now, and that I would have never have the things I have now if my life has not gone the way it did. So I decided this is the last time my eyes get wet while I am cleaning them. It is about time to close the final page of the chapter about my past, so I did that on Saturday, I closed that page and moved on to the next chapter. Every time something went wrong I used to go back to the past and feel sorry about it, but not anymore! Bye,bye past and basketball...you are just a history now and I won't let you take over my present and my future! Enough said! :)