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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The mirror in your head

Psychology sience teaches us that there are four ways in which people perceive themselves- first, the way they see themselves; second the way they want to be; third-the way other see them and forth, the way they want others to see them. That's way too much,ain't it? Or maybe you do not care that much, and you do not see yourself through all the forth images? Lucky you! I know about people that are literally dying to satisfy all these expectations and come as close as possible to the perfect image in their own opinion and in other's people opinion, sometimes even go further and self-destroy themselves!

But as you might guess that can be pretty hard. There are close to 7 billion people in the world. All of them have their own view of the perfect image and it is rediculous to think that you could sclupt yourself according to everybody's expectations. Or so I thought... but the people I mentioned, bet on their lives that you could. And who are they? Just ordinary people like us, the difference is just in the way they see themselves. They are so lost in the higly demanding world, in all the information and expectations that are poured on us daily, that they pretty much twist their image, what they truely are, and consider themselves never good enough or beautiful enough. And let's take the pressure off and finally reveal who they are!...Some say they are anorexic, others say they are bulimic...but what they truely are, is beautiful women and sometimes boys that lost control over their lives, over what they truely loved and wanted to be, and started slaving some fashion trends, started living according to other people expectations, left behind their passion and tried to follow somebody's else passion...and all these things just to satisfy the image that others expected, to finally reach the point where everything just broke down, and they neither satisfied others nor themselves...to finally step on the road to self-destruction.

And let me tell you that road is long, full of traps, torturing and discouraing! The road is so exhausting-it drains all your strength, leaving you there surrounded by people wanting to help you get back up, but in the same time making you feel the heartbreaking solitude, being chained in your own thoughts...being the prisoner of your own thoughts and twisted mind. And how do I know it? I haven't felt it, but I've seen it a couple times. And the sight is hearbreaking- to see the one you love, waste the beautiful personality they have, in the mere goal of perfection. SOme of the cases I witnessed had a fatal ending...but luckily others had a happy ending. I really admire the strength and the will that these people have-the will to light the desire in your heart, to live again, to feel again, and to be yourself again! It takes a long time to take control of your thoughts again, and make your thoughts be your slaves...not you the slave of your thoughts!

Last year I wrote the story about my sister's journey in the world of anorexia and bulimia, and her way back to normal life. The other day I read another story about a lady that also succeeded to overcome the pitfalls on the way of recovery from anorexia and the third one I want to share is about a crosfitter that I really admire-her name is Lisa Bender Thiel. I admire her will to pull herself out of anorexia. Her desire to find a passion, that will help her get in control of herself, her thoughts and get her back on the right road. I admire her persistance to become who she decided to be, and the strength to leave the past behind and live the life she deserves and the one she wants. Here is a link to her blog .

So as you see there are a bunch of examples about beautiful girls making the wrong turn, but even when it all seems hopeless it is up to you to take controll of yourself, your thoughts and your actions. Others can only provide you with support, but it is up to you to find your own motivation, your own direction and follow it. Don't let expectations make you feel down and unworthy, pushing you in the wrong direction of self destruction. Live up to your own expectations, not others. Make sure you have the life YOU imagined, not the life OTHERS WANT YOU TO HAVE!


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