About This Blog


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Don't identify yourself with your work!

I have been thinking about something lately... I am not sure I can put in words exactly what is on my mind but right now I feel like giving it a try!

Attachment! That's what's on my mind. When I look up the dictionary it says that "attachment is an emotional connection. Attachment involves being dependent on something for emotional, mental or physical reasons." I myself do not attach easily , BUT if I do it can be pretty bad. And that is something I decided I want to change about myself. I do not wanna put my energy in just one thing and make it my main purpose, make it the sense of my life! Because everything in life is temporary...things come and go...and when you are left without the things you are attached to you feel like your whole world is falling apart!...and I assure you the feeling is...undescribably terrible!

So what I think about attachment, or actually what I think hides behind it is FEAR!The root of attachment is fear. Without fear there’s no attachment to circumstances… no emotional resistance to outcomes. If you could remain open to everything and attached to nothing, then you would experience no fear. If you would consciously chose to live a fear-based existence, then attachments are fine. But if you wish to rid your life of unnecessary fear, then such socially conditioned attachments must eventually be rejected and replaced by conscious choice.

Instead of viewing certain events as tragic, we could just choose a context in which they become transformational! Change is a natural part of human existence. Instead of resisting change, we can learn to embrace it… in all its various forms. Instead of labeling events as good or bad, we can withhold judgment and simply accept them for what they are! YOU choose your mental response to the things that happen in your life! And your mental response dictates your emotional response!

We kind of have the habit to identify ourselves with the things we do. We consider that we are a product of our work,job or whatever we are attached to, whatever we are aiming for. But it is the opposite...our work is a product of our identity, our innerself...you should identify your work with yourself not yourself with your work. I am not sure if you get my point...

We often tend to put all our energy in something and make it the point of our life...we take it as a life and death thing! But when you loose your job, when you should change your life and the daily stuff that you were involved in...it feels like you are glued with them..you try so hard to get out, but you seem stuck in them!...you spend the rest of your life trying to get rid of that attachment but it is so stuck in you,actually to you it seems like you lost yourself...and the truth is you just lost a masterpiece you created...but hey, the power is still in you, and you still can create something better taking the lessons learned!

Back in my life I was a basketball player. That was everything I lived for and everything I dreamed about! I identified myself as a basketball player, I thought that was all I am capable of doing, and I thought if something puts an end to my career I will be left with nothing..I will lose myself if I loose basketball...

I lived in a constant fear of loosing it...but you know how often when you feel such a deep fear you actually attract it and it happens...and it did! I injured pretty bad and I was not capable of playing anymore! I went through such a destroying physical and emotional pain! I struggled living for a long time...actually I still do sometimes! But today I realize that it took me so much time to overcome it, it took so much tears to take it off...just because I was so attached to it and made basketball define my life!

I am tall and I remember how when people saw me they always asked "are you a basketball or a volleyball player?"...actually they still do...I used to proudly say "I played basketball!"...and after the injury I remember getting on the bus, and somebody asked that question...I can still feel the stabbing pain...I still remember what I felt while I said "NO"...it felt like my heart was shattering inside...I felt like the biggest looser...like the person I was talking to would think I was some inferior person wasting her life...

And today I understand that there is so much more that could define your life. I realize that in our drive to achieve something, in the drive to give it everything, in the energy we put to the world outside of us...I just realized that we do this because we are desperately trying to escape the road to our innerself...we are trying to escape from who we are, we are scared to look deeper inside of us and deal with our emotions...so we try to mask them by making ourselves busy with everything else...

I still do it...I still try to make myself busy all the time because I guess I do not feel good with the person I am...I can't stay just by myself, because I am not in a peace with myself! I identify myself with the things I do and if something goes wrong I feel like a failure...and I AM NOT a failure just because something went wrong...there are so many events that influence what is happening and how things turn out...if something goes wrong...YES, you have fault but it is not just your fault and you are not a failure! You do not lose your personality, just because events did not turn out the way you wanted...you can still be a great person and bring joy to your life and people's life!

Whatever you do...take the time and think...do you identify yourself with it? Do you think that if you loose it you will feel like you lost yourself, are you going to feel like you are a second hand person? If your answer is YES, then just make me company in the road to change! Because I am gonna change that in my life, and I am gonna give my best to stop identifying my personality with my work and trying to be perfect all the time!I am not perfect...nobody is...perfection is not attainable! There is nothing wrong aiming high as long as you don't make it a matter of life and death!...I will give my best to start feeling in peace with myself and enjoying the times when I am alone...

Drive without attachment, ambition without ego, and peace without passivity!

No comments: