If only...

If only I was taller!If only I was more flexible! If only I had more time! If only I had more money! If only I was stronger! If only I was thiner! If only it wasn't so cold outside! If only I wasn't so tired! If only I was smarter! If only I have started earlier! If only I could be faster! If...If...If...till when?

These days "If only" seems to be the most used expression...everybody is making excuses...everybody wishes for something to have been different....everybody blames situations to be the reason for failure...everybody is hitting their heads in the wall hoping to come up with an appropriate excuse why it AIN'T going to happen...

Since when did life become such a burden?!. Why are most of us always wishing for something to have gone in a different way?Why do we spend our lives wishing for something,feeling sorry for ourselves,blaming people and situation for where we are standing now or more likely for where we are NOT standing now...

Wouldn't life be much easier if we changed the "if only" with"How could I"....How could I have more time?How couldI compensate for being slow,for being short? How could I earn more money...and actually make a change!

Seems like we are forgetting we are THE human-the most intelligent creature in the world... aren't we supposed to use our heads and turn failure in motivation,success in inspiration, obstacles in possibilities...?

If only people had the drive...the courage...the desire...the commitment...devotion...will...faith...if only...

You will never know half of the things I will never forget..

I was reading something that got me thinking about people, the obstacles they overcome and the accomplishments they reach... walking on the sidewalk, in the mall, in the supermarket, in the office or you name it...you meet hundreds of people...you pass by them and see what they are now, but you could never guess what they used to be...and let's take it a little more personal...I am gonna talk about myself...

You see me everyday and probably you judje me for the things I do or the things I don't... you are looking at me thinking I am not good at that but I have a God givven talent for something else...but you know what? You do not know anything about me!... Do you know about those days that I will never forget? Do you know about those days I could hardly find strength to get out of bed and face another day? Do you know about those days I could hardly wait for bedtime so I could fall asleep and escape reality? Do you know about those times I was supposed to achieve something great but I tripped right before the finish? Do you know about the dreams that shattered in front of my eyes? Do you know about the stabbing pain I felt? Do you know about the hopeless days? The aimless life?The forced smiles....and hidden tears?!.

...the point I want to make is that we see people and we rush to judje them but we never know what they got through....you see somebody doing something and you mock him or her for not being the greatest...but can you see through his or her eyes? Do you know how far they walked to come to the place where they are standing now? Do you know how much strength and courage they needed to be where they are now?..You will probably never know half of the things they overcame to be the people they are today...but you know what? They deserve to be treated with dignity and appreaciation! They deserve to be valued for their achievements no matter how big they are!

You are nobody to judje people and belittle their ambitions!...truely great people treat others for what they could become but not for what they are!

A night brightened by stars...

It's just a simple evening...sitting in front of the PC, reading and drinking coffee...my thoughts are conquering my mind and won't let me rest...sometimes it is nice to be alone at home...but sometimes it is pretty hard...you go home and there is just you and the silence...and there is nothin wrong with that...I do not need to be among people all the time...I love spending time by myself...but not at night...

I sit here and the thoughts of everything that happens and all the people I meet and all the stories they share, it all rushes in...and, oh, that can be pretty torturing trust me!

The last couple months I am having some pretty hard times. Sometimes I feel like giving up. On one hand everything seems hopeless but on the other it is not that bad after all. I've come up with the conclusion that there are a lot of saddness all over the world and no matter what happens to you there is always somebody that is suffering so much more... so I am sitting here thinking...damn it I am feeling pretty discouraged right now...but should I? ...well if I take it a little deeper I should be really really happy, because I have some of the most amazing people in my life....I am so grateful that they are part of my life...they are like twinkle stars in my darkest nights...maybe they do not realize how much they mean to me and how thankful and blessed I feel to have them in my life...

I just wanted to say that eventhough I am feeling down tonight... I am glad that my night is brightened by the stars...

I wish...

Life is like a cycle... it always goes full round...if you start with saddness...you will go through happiness and then go back to the saddness... I know it...I've seen it...I've experienced it...

But why is it so hard to get thorugh hardships...when you know that they won't last forever and that soon it will be bright again? I hate that hopelessness that conquers me... I hate the pain that is stabbing me...

When saddness comes it makes me detest happiness... It is so hard to remember the moments that filled your heart with joy while now it is tearing apart from pain...

I know it will be over soon or later...I just wish I could find a reason to forget everything and start over again...

The price you pay

Everything in life has its own price...and usually there is no discounts and when you want something and you get it you should pay a hell of a price...

We've all seen these really rich people that at first sight seem to have everything that most people aim for-money,cars,big house and all those material things...but could you guess what is the price he payed?....WRONG! Hard work is not the price...if you could become invisible just for one night, go to that person house, sit against him on the table and feel the loneliness and emptiness he feels...yea, I know that just the thought of it is stabbing your heart....sad but true that is the price he payed for all these material things- cursed to be a lonely bird in crowded sky...

Let's move on to the next "purchase"....you see that married couple...they seem so in love, their relationship is just like those from Disney movies that every girl would dream to have... but like everything in life it couldn't be that perfect...there should be a trap...and the trap here is that they have all these spirirual stuff a person would want but they do not have any money to get them through the day...the price they payed to have the disney movie kind of love is to be cursed to be beggers...

Then you see that man on the street...he is around 40-45years old. If you knew him, you would have understood that he is the most hardworking person in the world; he always gives everything he's got to help people....NICE! that's what you are thinking right?...but do not rush it so much...let me tell you the price he payed...his body and his mind are so exhausted..he takes pills everyday that let him move, otherwise he can't get out of bed in the morning...he used to be a pretty athletic person that used to be always moving around doing something...and now the price he payed is that his vivid and bubbly spirit is in the prison of his own sick body...

And finally you see that girl...she is always with a big smile on her face...everybody seems to enjoy being around her...you'd say what a happy person should she be... maybe some great stuff are happening in her life...you'd be a little envious at her...but hold on...let me tell you the price...if you have known her maybe you would have found the saddness behind that smile...you'd have known that she smiles just because she knows what it is to be weak, and to need a helping hand, a warm smile to brighten your day...she knows that people do not always show on the outside what they feel on the inside....and that there maybe a person among all the people she meets that will need that brightness...

Well they say you could achieve everything you want, but you can not have everything you want...so just decide what you want and if you are ready to pay the price...