Are you scared to admit you are proud of yourself?

How often do you feel proud of yourself? And do you feel proud at all?!. Nowadays being proud of yourself and showing it equals showing off...and that is a really wrong understanding. Stop for a while and think what makes you feel proud of yourself. Then when you figure that out, go ahead and do it and don't be ashamed to show it.
Usually when you feel proud of somebody else you always show it out loud, but when you feel proud of yourself you just hide those emotions in yourself and hardly share them with somebody. I've been like that my whole life. When I played basketball I used to get tons of compliments after the games how good I played, and I got frustrated and used to always put my head down(like I commit a crime) and quietly say "Thank you, but it could be better!" ... I remember one time I scored 52points, got 32rebounds, and 10steals, plus a couple assists... and you know that you do not make a triple double every day... so I could be proud of myself...but was I? Deep inside I was, but I was scared to show it or share it with somebody, 'cause they might have gotten it wrong and think I was showing off... I always felt that showing I am proud of myself is boastful and immodest. Tell you the truth it feels good to see others appreciate what you have done, but as I grow older I find out that it is not that important what other people think, and what other people value and if you are going to make them proud of you or etc, the most important is to feel content with yourself and proud of yourself, because the worst thing that could happen to you is to be disappointed with yourself. So at the end of the day when you go to bed, take a breath and think what did you do today that made you proud of yourself and don’t be scared to admit it!

Give me reason but don't give me choice 'cause I will make the same mistake again..

"Your greatest strength often becomes your greatest weakness"
I really like this quote and if you think a little bit about it, you will find it is so TRUE! Sometimes when you are really motivated to achieve something, when we feel that burning desire to succeed, we never stop for a while and look around us and analyze everything that is happening to us. We are just so much into the idea of reaching our goal, that we don't care about anything else.
That quote could be something like a summary of my life. I am a pretty ambitious person, I'd say I am an overachiever. I always aim high, and I am so concentrated on the things I want to achieve that I become blind to everything around me.
If you give yourself a time to think, you will realize that for example before a real bad injury got you down, you had some other signs this was going to happen-maybe some pain or other kind of discomfort. But you were always too busy chasing your dreams to stop and give yourself a rest,right?
I've done this mistake over and over again, and I keep doing it, and tell you the truth as scary as this may sound I am sure I will keep doing it in the future! I have dislocated my shoulders 6times, but I only "count" four of them, because the other two injuries seem nothing to me compared to the four bad dislocations I had. Every time before I got an injury there were always some signs that something was not right and I had to give myself a rest, so I could come back even better than before, but was I paying attention to them? NO! I was always busy dreaming about being the first woman in Bulgaria that is gonna dunk, about playing in WNBA, about being an all-star and so on... it was such an obsession. Even when I got seriously injured and the doctors said for example I can't play for six months, I gave myself four and started again( don't get me wrong, I actually never stopped, when I injured my right shoulder I used to go to the gym with the shoulder brace and practice my dribble with my left hand, practice my shooting with my left hand...so I never stopped, even when I was not supposed to even think to step in the gym). During that time I already realized how I was pushing my luck way too much and that what I was doing was not right but it was just some inner drive, it was an obsession and I felt pretty helpless in front of it...and I still do. Sometimes I am so exhausted I know that if I have a rest I will feel better and that my practices will go better than now but I just can't stop... it feels like somebody has pushed the autopilot button and has plugged out the button that can stop that autopilot.... So don't be like me...find the strength to beat that inner drive that is destroying you or you may not go as far as you could... and for me.... I'd say "give me reason but don't give me choice, 'cause I will MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN!".

I've been knocking myself down, but not anymore!

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up."



Yesterday at practice, I was swimming and my breaststroke technique was not the way I wanted it to be. Lately I have been struggling a little bit in the pool and sometimes I feel so weak and helpless. I am a pretty optimistic person, I'd say I usually fight with windmills like Don Kihot does, so I always find the strength to get up when I fall down, but for the past two or three months I have been trying really hard to get back up and when I am just about to get on my feet I knock myself down again! Yesterday while I was struggling with my breaststroke, a thought I hate passed through my mind- the thought of giving up. Lately that thought is conquering my mind almost every day, and I just hate it. So yesterday when I thought about giving up , I got really mad at myself and told myself that I did not overcome all these hardships, I did not put all that hard work to get to the point I am now to just give up in front of some stupid obstacle. I told myself that I am a strong person and I never give in to hardships and I am not doing it this time either.I also thought that the pain I am feeling now ain't nothing compared to the pain I used to feel before and that is why I will make it through! And you know what- IT HELPED! By the end of the practice I was so mad at myself that I put that ferocity in my swimming and I swam pretty good! So I think I am strong again and I won't let the weakness conquer me again!

NO donuts for me

Today was again a beautiful day, so I decided to go out for a walk with some friends. We decided to go and get some coffee. Then some of my friends decided they felt like having some donuts so we went to Dunkin' Donuts. All of my friends got donuts and I got just a coffee. The whole time they were talking about these delicious donuts and the cream or the chocolate they were filled with. And I am not gonna lie to you I really felt the taste of these donuts, and it really sounded great to me, but I know that the good taste is just at the beginning and that these 5minutes of pleasure are not worth all the other efforts I make to have the body I want, so they did not tempt me to eat them. I am really trying hard to eat as healthy as I could, every morning I eat something sweet, I really would like to stop eating sweets at all in the future, but I think it is better to have a little chocolate in the morning then eat the whole supermarket after a week without it, so for now that is a step forward to a healthier life for me. I am taking baby steps and chasing a long term goal for a healthy lifestyle... so NO donuts for me :)

Always be your best

When you think it doesn't matter
if you fail or pass the test
keep in mind the reason why
you should always be your best.
While the whole world may not notice
if you tried to give your all,
there is a person in you
to whom it matters if you fall.
That little voice inside you
which directs your thoughts each day-
will make the final judgment
if you won or lost each day.
Never can you fail yourself
if you give it all you've got.
The world extends a hand to you
when you give life your best shot.
For all that really matters
when you're finished with your test,
is not the final score at all-
but did you do your best?